


A Christmas Ghost Story

by ErinHoltzmann



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bathtubs, Christmas, F/F, Ghosts, Loss of Virginity, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-09 03:35:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 24,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinHoltzmann/pseuds/ErinHoltzmann
Summary: When Abby and Erin rescue the scientist Jillian Holtzmann from drowning, Erin's life changes. She starts meeting Holtzmann almost every day, telling herself she only wants to learn about ghosts. However, there is also something else attracting her to her new acquaintance.





	1. December 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rravenclaw](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rravenclaw/gifts).



> Last year, I posted the [Holtzbert Advent Calendar](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8719744/chapters/19991710), this year, I'm writing a short story inspired by the movie "Carol". This isn't a retelling of "Carol" with Erin and Holtzmann as Carol and Therese, but it is set during one winter in the 1950s in New York.

It had been snowing for a week. The city was slowly getting used to it. At first, cars had crashed outside Erin’s window and people had screamed at each other early in the morning or had called for an ambulance because they had slipped on the ice. Now it was quiet in the mornings, the snow gently covering window-sills and street lamps.

It was the first Friday in a month Erin did not have to work and she had made plans to meet her best friend Abby in Central Park to go for a walk and then have coffee. When she opened the window to air her room, a cold breeze blew in and made her shiver. For a short moment, she considered calling Abby and cancelling their meeting, but she had been looking forward to it for a week and a bit of cold wouldn’t stop her.

She got dressed and put on her warmest coat and gloves before braving the cold streets of New York. From her flat, she could walk to Central Park, and she rushed to keep warm, so she arrived twenty minutes early. Impatiently, she walked up and down in front of the entrance, keeping an eye on the street.

By the time Abby arrived, Erin was shivering, but Abby pulled her into a warm hug and they chose a random path through the park.

“How have you been?” Abby asked, pulling down her scarf so Erin could understand her.

Erin shrugged. “It could be better,” she answered, before remembering her resolution not to complain to Abby about her problems.

But it was too late. “Oh? Why?”

“Just my job,” Erin mumbled. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst job I’ve ever had, but it would be easier if the men took me seriously.”

“You’re just a secretary,” Abby reminded her. “It would never, in a million years, occur to them to be friendly to you or see you as an equal.”

“But they’re just so stupid,” Erin groaned.

“They’re scientists, I don’t think it’s that bad.”

“It is; you should see what they are trying to submit to journals.”

“I told you that studying physics was a mistake,” Abby said, softly stroking Erin’s arm. “I’m not trying to be mean, but women don’t get to have a career, you know that.”

Erin shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. What’s going on with you?”

Abby nervously tugged at her glove. “I have big news,” she announced and stopped in the middle of the path, so a woman had to change her route to get passed them. She glared at Abby, who didn’t seem to notice. Abby removed the glove on her left hand and extended it to Erin. “I’m engaged.”

“But that’s wonderful!” Erin exclaimed, taking Abby’s hand to take a closer look at the ring. “How did Bennie propose?”

“He asked me during dinner last week,” Abby began her story. “I had spent two hours cooking his dinner and he always compliments it, but he didn’t even properly greet me when he got home and started eating without a comment. He’s never been so distant before and I thought he was going to break up with me, I couldn’t get him to say a single word to me. But over coffee, he pulled out the ring box and said, ‘I couldn’t come up with a romantic way to propose, would you like to marry me anyway?’ And I said yes.”

Erin hugged Abby excitedly. “That’s amazing, I’m so happy for you.”

“That’s the reason I wanted to meet you today,” Abby continued. “And because I wanted to ask you if you would like to be my bridesmaid.”

“Of course I want to,” Erin said, hugging Abby again.

Abby put her glove back on. “What about you and …?” she asked.

Erin shook her head. “He wanted me to move to California with him, but I have my job here. To be honest, I never loved him that much in the first place. I’m not sure there’s anyone I would make such a big change to my life for.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Abby looked genuinely sad. “Tell you what, I’m going to buy coffee for us later.”

Erin accepted with a smile and they continued their way along the path. They were getting close to the Lake and could already hear children laughing.

“I think they’re ice skating,” Abby said, beginning to walk faster. “I haven’t done that in ages.”

Erin hoped Abby wasn’t trying to tell her that she wanted to try it again because she had broken her ankle once while ice skating. They reached the Lake just as the laughter was turning into screams.

“Let’s see what’s going on,” Abby said, taking Erin’s hand and pulling her along with her.

Erin followed her reluctantly and they soon discovered that someone had broken through the ice and was on the verge of drowning. The children had fled to safety and were being held by their mothers or nannies. No one tried to help the person who was holding onto the ice for dear life.

“We have to help them!” Erin shouted, letting go of Abby’s hand and rushing to the edge of the ice.

Even though Abby screamed in protest for Erin to stop, Erin lay down on her stomach and began to pull herself towards the hole in the ice. As she was getting closer to the person, Erin saw that it was a woman who had broken through the ice and not a child, as she had suspected. That would explain why no one was trying to help her – she might be the mother of one of the children.

When Erin reached her, the woman could no longer manage to hold on and was about to let go. Erin grabbed her arm and began to pull, but the woman had no strength left to help her and Erin could feel how she was being pulled towards the ice-cold water, which was already sloshing over the edge of the hole and drenching her coat.


	2. December 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We have to get you out of the cold, and fast,” Erin observed. “Follow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try and update the fanfic every evening, and thank you for the kind feedback I've already received <3

“I know it’s hard but you have to help me,” Erin demanded, holding on for dear life. “I can’t do this alone.”

The woman looked up at her through blonde curls, and she whispered, “I hoped a pretty woman would save me.”

Erin blushed, but began to pull harder. The woman tried to heave herself out of the water and after a brief struggle, they were both lying on their backs, panting.

“We have to get you out of the cold, and fast,” Erin observed. “Follow me.”

She began to move back towards the shore, still on her stomach, feeling the ice crack beneath her. The woman was following her slowly. Abby was waiting for them close to the ice, jumping from one foot to the other. As soon as they were in hearing distance of her, Abby began to rant.

“You could have died, Erin!” she shouted across the ice. “What were you thinking?”

“Stop whining and help me,” Erin demanded. She couldn’t feel her fingers, but the woman she had just rescued had stopped moving altogether. “We have to get her someplace warm.”

The ice had stopped cracking and Abby dared to slowly walk towards them. She had realised the seriousness of the situation. Erin also climbed to her feet, and together they dragged the woman towards safety. Once they had reached the shore, Erin immediately took off her scarf, which was wet but not as drenched as the woman’s coat and tied it around the woman’s neck.

“What’s your name?” Erin asked to keep her talking.

“Holtzmann,” was the feeble answer. “Jillian’s my first name.”

“How did you break in?” Erin asked next, helping her to get up.

“Too heavy,” was the short answer.

“I’m going to get a cab,” Abby said, rushing off towards the street.

“We just need to get you up towards the road,” Erin said, letting Jillian lean onto her. “Do you think you can manage that, Jillian?”

“Please call me Holtzmann. I don’t like my first name.”

Erin nodded. “All right.”

Holtzmann’s lips were blue and her eyes were drooping.

“I’m going to take you home with me,” Erin began to explain. “I have a bathtub and heating and I can make you coffee.”

She wasn’t sure if Holtzmann could understand her, but Erin managed to get her up to the road. Abby was already waiting for them next to a cab.

“Help me hold her,” Erin demanded and together they pushed Holtzmann onto the back seat.

The cab driver opened his mouth to complain about the wet woman ruining the leather interior of his car, but Erin shut him up by shouting her address at him and telling him to hurry up. They rushed through the afternoon traffic, but it took them almost 20 minutes to reach Erin’s flat. They would have been faster if they had walked, but this was out of the question for Holtzmann.

Erin tried to keep Holtzmann talking, but the warmth of the cab made her drowsy and Erin had to pinch her once or twice to get her to stay awake. Abby, who was occupying the front seat, turned around several times, looking nervous.

When they pulled up in front of the house, Abby paid the driver while Erin was helping Holtzmann out of the car. Despite the drowsiness in her eyes, the cab ride seemed to have energised her and Abby and Erin only had to lightly push her up the stairs. Then Erin unlocked the door for her and immediately gave Abby orders.

“Go to my bathroom and fill the tub with warm water,” she said. “I’m going to help Holtzmann undress and we’ll be with you in a moment.”

Abby followed Erin’s instructions without questioning them and hurried off to the bathroom.

“You have to take off your clothes,” Erin told Holtzmann, who was sitting down on her bed. “You’re going to feel cold, but Abby is already preparing a bath for you.”

Erin untied the scarf she had given Holtzmann and then helped her out of her coat. Holtzmann was wearing a black pullover and dark, chequered trousers. The pullover was easy to get off her, but the trousers were impossible to unbutton because Erin still couldn’t feel her fingers and Holtzmann wasn’t much of a help either.

“I’ll have to cut these off,” Erin told her, rushing to the kitchen and coming back with a pair of scissors.

Holtzmann nodded, but Erin wasn’t sure she had understood her properly. Once Erin had finished struggling with the trousers, she pulled off Holtzmann’s shoes and socks and pulled her up to get her to the bathroom. The tub had been filled by Abby, who was nervously awaiting them. Together, they helped Holtzmann into the bathtub – she was still wearing her underwear because Erin hadn’t dared to take it off.

Holtzmann shivered when her skin touched the hot water, but she lay down and closed her eyes.

“Are you sure this is what we need to do?” Abby asked, concerned.

“I just think we need to make sure she’s warm,” Erin said, quickly taking her eyes of Holtzmann’s stomach, which was more muscular than she had expected. “I had to cut off her trousers though, we need to buy her new ones.”

Abby laughed. “You could have asked me for help.”

“You were busy,” Erin pointed out, blushing.

“I’m getting us coffee,” Abby announced. “Keep an eye on her so she doesn’t fall asleep and drowns herself.”

Erin sat down on the floor next to the bathtub, thinking about what she could say to Holtzmann. “So, what do you do?” she asked after a couple of minutes.

Holtzmann kept her eyes closed and didn’t answer immediately, so Erin thought she had fallen asleep. “I’m a scientist,” she finally said. “I work in physics.”

“Oh, me too!” Erin exclaimed excitedly.

This was enough for Holtzmann to open her eyes. “Really? Where do you work?”

Abby knocked on the door before Erin could answer. “Coffee, anyone?” she asked.


	3. December 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once Holtzmann felt warm again, Erin lent her one of her own trousers and a clean shirt while they waited for Holtzmann’s clothes to dry. They didn’t talk any more about ghosts, but Abby soon said her goodbyes by telling them her fiancé would be home soon and she had to prepare dinner. Holtzmann remained sprawled out on Erin’s bed while Erin sat down in an armchair.

Erin jumped up from the floor she was sitting on. “Yes, please.” She took the steaming mugs from Abby’s hands and put one down on the floor next to Holtzmann. “Just tell me when you want to take a sip.”

Holtzmann nodded and closed her eyes again.

“Is it working?” Abby asked. “Do you feel better?”

Holtzmann made a non-committal sound.

“Holtzmann is a scientist,” Erin told Abby, unable to hide the excitement in her voice.

“What does she do?”

Erin opened her mouth, but Holtzmann was quicker.

“I hunt ghosts.”

Erin blushed. She felt silly in front of Abby because, of course, hunting ghosts wasn’t a real science. Abby also didn’t seem convinced by Holtzmann’s answer.

“But that isn’t a science, is it?”

“Depends on how you look at it.” Holtzmann still had her eyes closed, looking completely relaxed. “I went to college and studied physics.”

Before Erin could tell her how impressive she thought that was, Abby continued with her criticism. “And you decided to waste your time on something that doesn’t exist?”

Holtzmann slowly opened her eyes and looked at Abby. “If you want, you and your friend can come by my lab sometime and maybe I’ll be able to convince you that ghosts are real.”

“We would love that,” Erin accepted for both her and Abby.

Abby didn’t look happy, but also didn’t back out.

*

Once Holtzmann felt warm again, Erin lent her one of her own trousers and a clean shirt while they waited for Holtzmann’s clothes to dry. They didn’t talk any more about ghosts, but Abby soon said her goodbyes by telling them her fiancé would be home soon and she had to prepare dinner. Holtzmann remained sprawled out on Erin’s bed while Erin sat down in an armchair.

“So what do you do?” Holtzmann asked, staring at the ceiling. “You don’t look married.”

Erin had to smile. “I’m not, I work as a secretary.”

Holtzmann nodded. “Do you enjoy it?”

“Not really, but there isn’t much I can do about it. It’s not as if they would let women become real scientists.”

“I’m a real scientist,” Holtzmann reminded her.

Erin didn’t want to say it, but the words, “Are you?” escaped her lips.

“I know it’s hard to believe, and you aren’t the first person to doubt the legitimacy of my work,” Holtzmann continued, “but have you never experienced something out of the ordinary? Something _your_ science couldn’t explain?”

Erin thought about it for some time. “Something like that happened to me, yes, but I never told anyone about it because I was afraid no one would believe me.”

Holtzmann sat up. “What was it?”

Erin took a deep breath, mustering all the strength she could. She had never said the words she was about to say to Holtzmann. “When I was ten years old, I saw a ghost.”

Holtzmann moved closer to her. “Tell me more.” She was staring at Erin and it made her nervous, but not because she was afraid Holtzmann wouldn’t believe her.

“The woman who lived next door to my parents’ house died and after that I saw her ghost every night for a year,” Erin continued.

“Did she try to make contact?”

“She did,” Erin nodded. “She screamed at me every night, trying to touch me with her long, white fingers. I hid under my blanket and cried myself to sleep.”

“How did it stop?” Holtzmann wanted to know, her voice soft.

“One day it just did. I can’t explain it. She probably grew tired of me and found herself another victim.”

“And does your … friend know about this?”

Erin shook her head. “As I’ve said, I’ve never told anyone about this, not even my parents.”

“So you believe me?” Holtzmann asked.

“I don’t know,” Erin sighed. “I’m still not sure if this really happened or if I was traumatised by my neighbour’s death.”

“Maybe if you’ll come by my lab …”

Now Erin had to smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll do that. After all, I want to get my trousers back.”

“You won’t let me keep them to remember you by?”

When Holtzmann had told her earlier she was pretty, Erin had put that down to her being hypothermic. This time, she was almost sure that Holtzmann was trying to flirt with her. It was certainly something a man would say in a similar situation … or rather, she would say to a man.

Holtzmann noticed that Erin didn’t know how to answer the question and changed the subject. “I like your flat, it’s very tidy.”

“I like to keep things tidy,” Erin said, glad she didn’t have to answer Holtzmann’s question. “What does your flat look like?”

“I basically live in my lab,” Holtzmann admitted with a shrug. “That reminds me … I really should be getting back, I have an experiment to finish.”

“Yes, of course.” Erin stood up. “Do you want to borrow my coat? Yours is still wet.”

“No, I’ll take a cab. It’s not far from here.”

Erin nodded. “Do you want to give me the address?” she asked. “So Abby and I can come and visit you?” she added quickly.

Holtzmann wrote down her address on a piece of paper and then put on the damp coat. “Thank you for saving me,” she said, sounding serious. “I know you risked your life and I’m glad nothing happened to you.”

Erin blushed. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Holtzmann smiled. “I appreciate it very much and I hope I can repay you one day.”

Erin opened the door for Holtzmann and said, “That really won’t be necessary.”

Holtzmann stepped out into the hallway, then quickly turned around and planted a kiss on Erin’s cheek. Then she was off, a spring in her step. Erin closed the door behind her, stroking across her cheek where Holtzmann’s lips had touched her skin. A warm feeling began to spread in her stomach and she leaned against the wood of the door, her head spinning.


	4. December 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin spent the evening imagining what Holtzmann’s lab would look like. She had never heard of people hunting ghosts, she was only familiar with books that talked about them. Having seen one herself hadn’t made her believe in them either and a small part of her was convinced Holtzmann had lied to her and everything would turn out to be one big joke. Erin usually didn’t trust people she had just met, but there was something in the way Holtzmann had talked to her that made her overthrow that rule.

The next morning, Erin thought about visiting Holtzmann in her lab, but then thought better of it because she didn’t want to be annoying. Instead, she called Abby from the phone in the hallway, asking her if she would like to come along to such a hypothetical visit. Abby told her in an exciting voice that Bennie had booked a trip to surprise her and that she would be leaving in a couple of days. She had no time to visit Holtzmann.

Erin thought long and hard whether she should go on her own. On her way to work, she almost got run over by a car because she was so preoccupied with her thoughts. Today, she wasn’t even annoyed by her colleagues who gave her the most boring jobs. All she could think about was seeing Holtzmann again.

For dinner, she went to a small diner she sometimes frequented when she was too busy to cook. Over dinner, she decided to visit Holtzmann the next day, since it was a Sunday and she would probably not have so many things to do. Once she had decided on this, she could feel her heart beating faster, and her palms became sweaty. The prospect of learning more about ghosts excited her.

Erin spent the evening imagining what Holtzmann’s lab would look like. She had never heard of people hunting ghosts, she was only familiar with books that talked about them. Having seen one herself hadn’t made her believe in them either and a small part of her was convinced Holtzmann had lied to her and everything would turn out to be one big joke. Erin usually didn’t trust people she had just met, but there was something in the way Holtzmann had talked to her that made her overthrow that rule.

Even though Erin was still nervous when she got home, she had no trouble falling asleep. When she woke up, it was almost midday – Erin hadn’t slept that long in many years. She ran herself a bath and let herself be engulfed by warm water. Memories came back to her of two days before when Holtzmann had sat in the same spot. Erin closed her eyes and let herself sink below the surface where she remained until she was out of air. One part of her wanted to hurry so she would see Holtzmann again, another part wanted to take as long as possible so she could look forward to their reunion.

Her hair washed and dried, Erin took some time deciding on what to wear. She finally settled on a warm skirt and a white blouse. Then she put her hair up in a ponytail and chose flat shoes. She had looked up Holtzmann’s address on a map the previous evening and decided she could walk there. It was still snowing, but Erin was used to the cold by now. Her coat, scarf, gloves, and hat would be enough to keep her warm.

It took her half an hour to reach Holtzmann’s lab. It was in a dingy-looking part of town, but since it was the middle of the day, Erin wasn’t scared. The building which she found at the address looked uninhabited from the outside – some of the windows had been broken and there was garbage strewn across the stairs which led to the front door. Gingerly, Erin climbed these stairs and pushed open the front door.

She could hear loud music coming from upstairs and since this was the only sign of life, she followed it. On the landings, she could sometimes look into uninhabited flats since the doors were missing. The further she went, the louder the music became until she reached the last landing, right beneath the roof. There, she found a door standing ajar and when she came closer, she could make out movement behind it.

“Hello?” Erin knocked on the door, peaking into the room.

The floor of the room beyond was covered in paper and broken pencils, pipes and screws. Several tables took up most of the space; one looked like the laboratory of a chemist’s shop, one had dirty plates on it. On first glance, Erin wasn’t able to tell what exactly went on in this room.

Holtzmann herself seemed preoccupied with dancing. She twirled around the room, skidding across sheets of paper, trying to keep her balance. Erin was sure that Holtzmann hadn’t heard her, so she knocked again. This time, Holtzmann paused and turned around.

“Erin!” She lifted a pair of goggles which had been covering her eyes. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

Today, Holtzmann was wearing a long, white coat which made her look like a doctor. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and her hands were covered in thick leather gloves which she took off to stop a record player which stood in one corner of the room.

Once the music had stopped, Holtzmann strode over to Erin and pulled her into a hug. “I was wondering when you’d have time to visit me. Did you bring your friend along?”

“Abby’s on holiday,” Erin answered, letting herself be hugged by Holtzmann, “but I thought I’d check up on you, see how you’re doing.”

“I’m doing fine,” Holtzmann said, looking around the room. “Wait a minute.” She vanished through a door on the left side, but was back a moment later with a wooden chair. “Please, sit.”

Erin took off her coat, which Holtzmann took, and sat down. “Are you sure you’re all right? I don’t want you getting pneumonia or anything.”

“I’m fine, really,” Holtzmann said again. “Can I offer you a drink? I’m afraid I don’t have fancy coffee, like you, I just have whiskey.”

“Er … okay,” Erin agreed. She had never had whiskey and was eager to try it.

“That’s something you should buy as well if you have to save someone from drowning in a frozen lake again,” Holtzmann suggested, getting two glasses from a small cupboard. “It’ll warm you up in no time.”


	5. December 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve tried alcohol before … once,” Erin told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't related to the story in any way, but today in Austria, the Constitutional Court legalised same-sex marriage, so I'll be able to marry my girlfriend starting 01.01.2019.

Holtzmann poured two glasses of whiskey and handed one to Erin. Erin took a sip and immediately had to cough.

“It tastes awful,” she complained.

“Have you never tried it before?” Holtzmann smirked at her.

“I’ve tried alcohol before … once,” Erin told her.

“That’s cute.”

“So, anyway, tell me about your work,” Erin changed the subject.

Holtzmann immediately launched into an explanation. “At the moment, I’m trying to develop a tool that can detect ghosts,” she said with a glint in her eyes. “It’ll make it much easier for me to determine whether a house is truly haunted.”

“Do you have to do that often?”

“Sometimes people come to me and ask me for help; there are a lot of people, actually, who believe in ghosts,” Holtzmann explained, “but without proper equipment there isn’t much I can do to help them. Have you ever tried to catch a ghost? It’s basically impossible.”

“Maybe I can help you,” Erin suggested eagerly. “I work at a lab, I could steal … I mean borrow some of the equipment there.”

“Thank you, but I don’t want to risk you losing your job,” Holtzmann declined.

“I don’t like it that much anyway, I’d rather work here with you,” Erin said before she could stop herself.

“I wouldn’t be able to pay you,” Holtzmann told her immediately.

Erin hadn’t thought she would be such a practical person. “I know, it’s not feasible. But I hate my job, having to work as a secretary even though I went to college.”

“That’s the reason I started doing my own thing. But if you really want to help me, I’m sure we can find a way.”

“Really?” Erin could feel how her face grew hot with excitement.

“Sure,” Holtzmann shrugged. “I’m just not sure your friend Abby would approve of it.”

“Well, she’s not my mum,” Erin said defiantly.

Holtzmann laughed. “I didn’t think she was.”

“I don’t want to be rude,” Erin said, feeling her stomach rumble, “but do you have any food?”

Holtzmann shook her head. “I’m afraid not, I can’t cook.”

Erin giggled. “Can I take you out then?” she asked, hoping Holtzmann would say yes.

“That would be great, thanks,” Holtzmann nodded.

Erin took another sip of her whiskey, feeling it burn her throat.

“You don’t have to finish that,” Holtzmann pointed out, extending her hand to take the glass away.

“No, no, I want to.” Erin put it outside of Holtzmann’s reach.

“You don’t have to impress me.”

“I’m not trying to,” Erin contradicted her, knowing this was only half true.

Slowly, she finished her whiskey while Holtzmann showed her blueprints of the machine she was trying to build. Erin had never seen anything like it. She thought it looked a bit like a radio, which was the wrong way around, with a twisted antenna on top. Holtzmann explained that the antenna would start moving if there was a ghost nearby because of the electrical charge it emitted. Erin listened to her every word, trying to understand as best as she could what Holtzmann was explaining to her. She found she could follow her easily.

Once Erin had emptied her glass, Holtzmann gave her back her coat and put on her own. “Where do you want to take me to?” she asked Erin.

“I’m not sure, I’ve never been to this part of town.”

“Then I’m gonna show you my favourite place,” Holtzmann said determinedly.

Excitedly, she took Erin’s hand and pulled her down the stairs. Erin followed her, careful not to trip over her own feet. It had stopped snowing for the first time in a week, but it was cold, colder than it had been two days ago when Erin had rescued Holtzmann. They briskly walked down the street, not talking, trying to get to a warm place. Erin, who walked a couple of paces behind Holtzmann, found herself admiring Holtzmann’s coat and how it billowed from the swagger in Holtzmann’s step. Too soon, they reached a small coffeeshop on a corner, which didn’t look open to Erin, but Holtzmann knocked on the door and, after a brief wait, it swung open.

Holtzmann led the way into a dimly lit room, filled with small tables and wobbly chairs. Erin looked around, but couldn’t see any other people, except for two women who were sitting in one corner of the room. Holtzmann chose a table near the window for herself and Erin and then went off to order at a narrow bar.

The place wasn’t at all what Erin had expected. She had thought of a cosy diner, not a dimly lit dive. But the more she thought about it, the more this place suited Holtzmann. Everything about her was unexpected and a bit mysterious, sometimes over-the-top, but never boring. It was only when Erin fixed her gaze on Holtzmann that she wondered if this really was a coffeeshop.

Holtzmann was currently placing their order with a woman behind the counter. She was much taller than Holtzmann, but wore her dark hair short. They were both talking – it seemed like a friendly catch-up, until Erin saw how the woman placed her hand on Holtzmann’s arm and laughed loudly at something Holtzmann had just said to her. Erin had no idea what was going on, but she felt a surge of jealousy wash over her and if Holtzmann hadn’t chosen that moment to turn around and walk back to their table, Erin would have gotten up to join the conversation.

“Are you all right?” Holtzmann asked, sitting down opposite Erin.

Erin nodded. “What is this place?” she asked, trying to ignore the woman behind the counter.

“A coffeeshop … well, a bar. It’s both.”

“Do you come here often?”

“Most days, yes. As I’ve said, I can’t cook.”

“Is that the reason why you know the waitress so well?”

“She’s not a waitress,” Holtzmann corrected her. “She owns the place.”

“Oh,” Erin made. “I didn’t know that women could …”

Holtzmann interrupted her. “Erin, it’s the 50s. Everything is possible.”


	6. December 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The owner chose that moment to walk over to their table and bring them their drinks. “Hi, I’m Vanessa,” she introduced herself, shaking Erin’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for 50 kudos, I appreciate it a lot <3

Erin looked doubtful. “Most of the women I know are married with kids. They’re housewives.”

“Most of the women I know earn their own money. So do you.”

Erin nodded. “I always thought I was the exception.”

“Then you don’t know the right women.”

The owner chose that moment to walk over to their table and bring them their drinks. “Hi, I’m Vanessa,” she introduced herself, shaking Erin’s hand.

“Erin,” Erin said.

“I know, Holtzmann told me all about you.”

“Shhh,” Holtzmann made, punching Vanessa’s leg.

But Erin’s interest was perked. “She did?”

“She doesn’t shut up about how you saved her life,” Vanessa went on, “and the story changes every time. Last I heard was that you swam through ice-cold water to pull her back to shore.”

Erin laughed. “It wasn’t as dramatic as that.”

“You have to tell me the real story one day,” Vanessa said. “I can’t wait to hear your version.” And she winked at Erin before walking back towards the counter.

Erin turned back to Holtzmann. “You tell people about me?”

Holtzmann had turned bright red. “It’s an interesting story to tell.”

Erin had been sure that Holtzmann couldn’t be embarrassed by anything. “I feel flattered.”

Holtzmann didn’t say anything but emptied half her glass of beer in one gulp.

They didn’t say much until their food arrived, but then Holtzmann began to tell Erin about the last case she’d had. The story involved a haunted mansion at the edge of the city and a car. Erin listened to her excitedly, not taking her eyes off Holtzmann once.

It was one of the best Sundays Erin had had in a long time. Holtzmann was great company and Erin enjoyed herself a lot until they both had a cup of coffee in front of them and a woman walked into the bar.

“Holtz!” she exclaimed excitedly, rushing over to their table and sitting down on an empty chair.

Erin was taken aback by her rudeness.

“Stevie,” Holtzmann said in surprise, pulling her into a hug.

“And this is?” Stevie asked, looking at Erin.

“My friend Erin,” Holtzmann answered. “She saved me from drowning the other day.”

“Oh, your _friend_ ,” Stevie repeated, smirking at Erin. “You could’ve told me told me there was a new woman in your life.”

Erin didn’t know what to say.

Holtzmann blushed again. “It’s not like that.”

“You’re not at that stage of the relationship,” Stevie nodded. “I get it.”

“No, no, we’re not …”

“Anyway, it was lovely seeing you again,” Stevie continued, standing up. “I’m just picking something up, but I have to hurry.”

She rushed over to the bar where Vanessa handed her a small parcel and then she was off.

“What was that about?” Erin asked, turning to Holtzmann for guidance.

“Nothing,” Holtzmann tried to brush it off. “She was just joking.”

“I don’t think she was,” Erin pushed the matter. “You can be honest with me.”

“Promise me you won’t leave, no matter what I tell you,” Holtzmann asked of her.

“You listened to my ghost story, I think I can listen to whatever you have to tell me,” Erin reassured her.

Holtzmann took a deep breath. “Remember when we talked the other day about being married?” she asked. “Well, I don’t think I’m ever getting married.”

“Okay?”

“I mean, I’m not that into men …,” Holtzmann continued slowly.

“I don’t like most of the men I know either,” Erin told her.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before,” Holtzmann tried next.

“That’s not unusual; I’m guessing most men are intimidated by such a strong woman.”

“It’s not that,” Holtzmann objected. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before, but I’ve had girlfriends.”

Erin stared at her. “You mean, like a boyfriend, but a woman?” She tried to make sense of what she had just heard.

Holtzmann nodded. “It’s just the same, only that the person is a woman and not a man.”

“So you like women instead of men?” Erin clarified.

“Yes,” Holtzmann answered, looking at her nervously.

Erin swallowed. “I … I didn’t think that’s possible.” But it certainly explained a lot about Holtzmann – it explained why she kept paying her compliments, it explained why she was so independent, and it also explained why Vanessa kept glancing at her with a certain look in her eyes.

Erin told her none of this. “That explains why Stevie thought you and I …”

“It wasn’t her place to assume anything,” Holtzmann said, determination in her voice. “I’ll talk to her about it.”

“No, you don’t have to, no harm done,” Erin said quickly.

“I think it made you uncomfortable,” Holtzmann pointed out, biting her lip nervously.

“No, no, it’s not that; it’s that everything is so new to me.” Erin swallowed. “I’ve never met a woman who … who likes women.”

“But would you like meeting me again, even though I’m different?” Holtzmann asked carefully.

“Of course,” Erin assured her immediately. “I don’t mind, if that’s what you mean.”

“Oh, good,” Holtzmann said, trying to play it cool. “Only, most people would have a problem with that.”

“I’m not most people.” This was only half true. Erin knew it would take a lot of getting used to what Holtzmann had told her. She was mostly disappointed with herself because she thought the whole affair had been obvious – she could not picture Holtzmann with a man, but she also hadn’t thought of the other option.

While Erin was walking home, clutching the trousers and shirt she had lent Holtzmann tightly to her chest, she asked herself if she had lied to Holtzmann. Was it truly all right with her that Holtzmann preferred women over men? She thought about what Abby would say and realised that Abby would break off any contact with Holtzmann immediately. But she wasn’t Abby. And there was also something else on her mind; it was true that she was very interested in Holtzmann’s work, but also in Holtzmann herself and she couldn’t say for sure if that interest was purely platonic.


	7. December 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry to barge in like this,” Holtzmann said without any greeting, “but I have something important to ask you.”

The following week kept Erin busy. There was always a lot to do before Christmas because the scientists wanted to have Christmas off and tried to finish as much of their work as possible beforehand. Erin didn’t mind; it kept her mind off Holtzmann, even though Holtzmann often enough visited her in her dreams. Those dreams usually were harmless; they involved Holtzmann back in Erin’s bathtub or lying on her bed, but it also prevented her from ignoring Holtzmann as much as she would have liked.

On Thursday evening, when she arrived home after a stressful and exhausting day, there was someone waiting in front of her building. It was dark and Erin didn’t recognise the person at first, but when she had climbed the steps to the front door, she saw that it was Holtzmann.

“Oh, hi,” Erin said, surprised.

“I’m sorry to barge in like this,” Holtzmann said without any greeting, “but I have something important to ask you.”

Erin’s heart began to beat faster but she forced herself to answer calmly, “Sure, do you want to come inside?”

Together, they climbed the stairs to Erin’s flat and Erin unlocked the door to let them inside. “Do you want dinner?”

Holtzmann nodded, so Erin put out a saucepan and started to boil water.

“What is it you want to talk to me about?” Erin asked, trying to hide her nervousness.

“I brought you this.” Holtzmann pulled a bottle of white wine out of her coat pocket. “I hope you like it.”

Erin thanked her, opened the bottle and poured them two glasses. She didn’t have wine glasses because she never drank, but she was sure Holtzmann wouldn’t mind. They stood around the kitchen, watching the spaghetti boil, not looking at each other. Finally, when their dinner was done, Erin filled two plates with the food and they sat down on a small table in the corner of the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Erin asked Holtzmann a second time.

“I was contacted by a woman,” Holtzmann began slowly. “Her name is Patty Tolan and she works for the metro.”

Erin nodded, nibbling on a fork full of spaghetti.

“She came by my lab this morning and told me that there was a ghost living beneath the station where she sells tickets,” Holtzmann continued. “I told her we – I mean, I – would have a look at it.”

“And you wanted to ask me if I want to come with you?” Erin asked hopefully.

“If you don’t mind,” Holtzmann said quickly. “Only if you have time. It’s not a problem if you don’t want to or are busy, I just thought I should ask and since I don’t have your telephone number I thought it was best if I came by.”

“I’d love to come with you.” Erin was so excited that she had forgotten about her dinner. “When do you want to go? Is there anything you need me to bring?”

Holtzmann beamed at her. “You really want to come?”

“Of course, I’m very interested in what you are doing.”

“Great,” Holtzmann said, clapping her hands together. “We could go tomorrow morning?”

Erin hesitated. “I have to work every day except Sunday this week.”

“What about in the evening?”

“Okay.” Erin nodded. “I hope it’s not to spooky though.”

“I’m going to protect you,” Holtzmann assured her, raising her right arm and flexing her muscle.

They finished their meal, excitedly talking about the next evening. Erin agreed to come straight to Holtzmann’s lab once she was finished with work and Holtzmann promised she would lend her some of her equipment. Then Holtzmann left, saying she needed to prepare a couple of things. Erin was sorry to see her go, but at least she could look forward to seeing Holtzmann again.

*

The next day, Erin finished work later than she had anticipated and took a cab to Holtzmann’s lab. She rushed up the stairs, taking two at a time, only to realise too late – after she had burst into the room – that Holtzmann wasn’t alone. Vanessa from the bar was with her, casually leaning against one of the tables. She wore a low-cut blouse and the tightest trousers Erin had ever seen. Apparently, she had been talking to Holtzmann, who seemed to be in the other room.

“Oh, hello,” she said, mustering Erin. “We met the other day, right?”

Before Erin could answer, Holtzmann came back into the room and immediately pulled Erin into a hug. “I’m glad you could make it.”

Erin wanted to ask what Vanessa was doing here, but Holtzmann proceeded to explain it to her.

“Vanessa came by to bring me dinner,” she said. “I thought it would be good to have something to eat before we leave.”

Vanessa looked confused but changed the look on her face before Holtzmann had turned around to address her. “Thank you so much for the food,” she said. “How much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house,” Vanessa stammered.

“Thanks,” Holtzmann said with a smile. “I’ll come by tomorrow at the usual time, all right?”

Vanessa put on her coat and gloves before glancing at Erin. “Have a nice evening, you two.” It sounded forced.

Erin was torn between being happy to see Holtzmann and being jealous of Vanessa. “I thought she was coming with us,” she said over dinner.

“Who?” Holtzmann asked, preoccupied with her thoughts.

“Vanessa.”

Holtzmann snorted. “No, she doesn’t know what I’m doing.”

“I think she likes you,” Erin said, unable to keep her voice from dripping with jealousy.

“Of course she likes me, we’re friends.”

“Don’t play dumb,” Erin reprimanded her. “You know what I mean.”

Holtzmann blushed. “I know,” she said. “We tried dating a couple of years ago but she wasn’t my type.”

“She doesn’t seem to be over the whole affair just as much as you are,” Erin continued. “I think it’s cruel to order her here when you know I’m coming over.”

Holtzmann tilted her head. “Why? We’re not dating. Or have I missed something?”


	8. December 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hope it doesn’t want to kill us,” Erin joked.

Erin’s face burned up and she was sure there was steam coming out of her ears. “No, of course not,” she stammered. “I mean, we hardly know each other … we’re … er … we’re colleagues, I guess.”

Holtzmann looked at her with a weird look in her eyes but didn’t press the matter further. Instead, she changed the subject to the ghost they would be looking for that evening.

“I’m sure we won’t be able to catch it,” Holtzmann sighed, glancing at the jumbled pieces on one of her tables, “but we might be able to figure out what it wants.”

“I hope it doesn’t want to kill us,” Erin joked.

“It might; there are vengeful spirits out there, spirits who have been wronged while they were alive, and now they are trying to make the life of the living as miserable as possible, which also might involve trying to kill him.”

“That’s reassuring.” Erin shook her head.

“Well, I don’t want to make any judgement before I have seen the ghost, but I’m guessing that the one we’re dealing with is such a vengeful spirit,” Holtzmann continued. “Why else would Ms Tolan need our help?”

Erin swallowed, trying not to let her nervousness show. Holtzmann pretended not to notice.

They finished their meal quietly and then set off to the subway station. Erin usually avoided the subway when she could. She was scared of the tunnels collapsing while she was travelling in one of the carriages. But this was different, she told herself. There were no trains involved.

The station they were trying to get to was one of the furthest away from Holtzmann’s lab. Since they couldn’t walk the distance and also had to carry some of Holtzmann’s equipment, they couldn’t take public transport, so Erin offered to pay for a cab. The cab driver wasn’t happy about Holtzmann filling the back seat with all sorts of strange things he had never seen before, but he let her do it.

It took them forty minutes to reach their destination. Erin, who was sitting in the front seat next to the driver, could feel Holtzmann banging her feet nervously against her back for the whole drive, but she didn’t complain. She was just as nervous.

The cab driver dropped them off in front of the entrance to the subway station, accepting a generous tip. They shouldered Holtzmann’s bags and carefully went down the stairs into the station itself.

Patty Tolan turned out to be a tall, black woman. She was sitting in her booth, but immediately jumped up when she spotted Erin and Holtzmann.

“Hi,” she said, a bit out of breath, pushing open a small door so she could come outside. “I was wondering if you had forgotten about me.”

“No, we value all our customers,” Holtzmann assured her, dropping her bag with a loud bang.

“I won’t be able to pay you,” Patty told her, glancing at Erin.

“That’s no problem, we work in the name of science,” Holtzmann answered.

Erin was a bit disappointed, but also immediately distracted by Holtzmann introducing her.

“This is my colleague, Erin,” she said, pulling Erin close to her. “She’s an expert in physics.”

Erin blushed, but Patty asked her, “Are you?” in a tone she found sounded challenging.

“I studied physics, if that’s what you mean,” Erin answered.

Patty nodded. “Impressive.”

“So, where is this ghost of yours?” Holtzmann asked, looking around as if she was expecting it to suddenly appear around a corner.

“Down by the train tracks,” Patty answered. “It mostly comes out at night to scare the homeless people who are trying to sleep there.”

“Are you sure it’s not your employers?” Holtzmann asked next. “I mean, have you actually seen the ghost?”

“I have,” Patty confirmed. “It was horrible and I wouldn’t like to see it again.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to lead us down to the tunnels and show us where you saw it.” Holtzmann didn’t look sorry at all. She was beaming.

Erin nodded, thinking it was best if they were more people. “You could save us a lot of time.”

Patty shivered, but agreed to show them where she had seen the ghost. She led them down a narrow set of stairs onto the actual platform. Since it was already late in the evening, there weren’t many people around. Erin had to shiver herself and she pulled her coat tighter, but then she felt Holtzmann’s hand on the small of her back and warmth immediately spread through her body.

“It was there,” Patty told them, pointing to the end of the platform.

Holtzmann removed her hand and sprinted ahead. Erin followed carefully, while Patty stayed where she was.

“Can you see anything?” Erin asked, peeking into the tunnel where Holtzmann had vanished.

“It’s too dark,” Holtzmann shouted back. “Can you bring me the torch, please?”

Erin climbed down into the tunnel, trying to find the torch in her bag. Holtzmann was standing in an alcove, trying to make out something in the darkness beyond.

“You’re not supposed to go down there,” Patty told them from the safety of the platform.

They both ignored her. Erin had found the torch by now and handed it to Holtzmann who switched it on. There was nothing waiting in the darkness of the tunnel.

“There’s nothing here,” Erin whispered.

“Of course there isn’t,” Holtzmann said. “The ghost doesn’t hang around here in its corporal form all day. We should wait for a couple of minutes.”

“Can’t we wait on the platform?” Erin asked.

“And risk missing it? I don’t think so.” She switched off her torch and leaned against the wall.

Erin put her bag down next to Holtzmann and stepped closer to her. She could hear Holtzmann breathe excitedly, not taking her eyes of the tunnel.

“We could really use your invention right now,” Erin said. “The one that tells you if there’s a ghost nearby.”

“I don’t think we’ll need that,” Holtzmann whispered, straightening her body.


	9. December 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann stepped forward. “What is your name, sir?” she asked, sounding over-the-top polite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating in the morning today because I'm going away over the weekend. I will also update late in the evening tomorrow when I get back, but I won't forget.

Erin peaked around Holtzmann and then she saw it – a ghost, hovering about a metre above ground. She jumped, but it was more out of a reflex. The ghost didn’t move, it just looked at them, and Erin thought it looked curious.

It was the ghost of an old man with a long beard and a cane. If it hadn’t been translucent Erin would have thought the poor guy had lost his way around the subway station. She was glad to discover that it didn’t have much in common with the ghost from her childhood, that it didn’t look at all menacing.

“Wow,” Holtzmann breathed next to her. Then she whispered in Erin’s direction: “Maybe someone should try and talk to it.”

“You do that,” Erin demanded.

“No, you.”

Erin pinched Holtzmann. “Go on.”

Holtzmann stepped forward. “What is your name, sir?” she asked, sounding over-the-top polite.

The ghost didn’t answer.

“I’m Holtzmann, I’m a scientist,” Holtzmann went on. “I specialise in paranormal phenomenon, and you are one fine specimen.”

She had meant it as a compliment but the ghost slowly began to change colour into a dark shade of red.

“We heard a lot about you and we wanted to meet you,” Erin chipped in.

“That’s right,” Holtzmann backed her up.

The ghost was still changing colour.

“Is there any particular reason you live down here?” Erin wanted to know, slowly pushing the conversation towards finding out what the ghost wanted.

The ghost was so red by now that it wasn’t translucent anymore.

“We’re here to help you,” Holtzmann tried. “Is there anything we can do for you?”

Suddenly, the ghost erupted. Or exploded. Erin wasn’t sure which word to use to describe what she was seeing. It exploded into a shower of red ooze, covering herself and Holtzmann. Erin shrieked and tried to find cover, but she was completely exposed in the empty tunnel of the subway. Holtzmann looked excited and disgusted at the same time.

“Did you see that?” she shouted at Erin.

“I wish I hadn’t,” Erin answered.

“We‘re probably the first people to ever witness such a combustion,” Holtzmann went on, wiping slime out of her eyes.

“Do you think it’s dead, I mean gone?” Erin asked.

“I think so, yes,” Holtzmann nodded. “The books I’ve read about ghosts say that they usually don’t come back once they’ve exploded like that.”

“But how did we do it?” Erin asked.

“I think we made it angry.”

“But I tried to be polite.”

Then they were interrupted by Patty rushing towards them. “What’s going on? What was that bang?”

“We got rid of your ghost for you,” Holtzmann told her.

“Why do you look like that?” Patty shrieked.

“It’s all part of the job,” Erin assured her.

*

After a long discussion with several cab drivers because none of them wanted to take them, Erin and Holtzmann arrive completely exhausted yet jubilant at Erin’s building. Erin invited Holtzmann upstairs so they could clean themselves and soon their dirty clothes were in a bundle on the floor next to the sink where they tried to rub the worst bits of slime off. When it became obvious that they would need to take a shower or bath, Erin volunteered to wait outside so Holtzmann could bathe first, but Holtzmann was having none of it.

“We can share the bathtub, it saves water,” Holtzmann told her.

“But …,” Erin stammered.

“It wouldn’t be the first time for me,” Holtzmann said with a wink.

Erin wanted to object more, but Holtzmann was already undressing. So Erin had to exclaim, “What are you doing?”

“Have you ever tried bathing with your underwear on? It’s a disgusting feeling.”

“Last time you took a bath here,” Erin started.

“I know, you could have undressed me completely.”

“That’s not decent,” Erin pointed out.

“Who cares about decent, I want to get clean,” Holtzmann sighed. “But if it worries you so much, then I’m gonna close my eyes until you are in the bathtub.”

Erin mumbled something and nodded. Holtzmann finished undressing and immediately stepped into the bathtub, which was still filling with water.

“I’m gonna close my eyes now,” Holtzmann informed her.

Erin didn’t check if she was telling the truth, but undressed quickly and joined Holtzmann. Her bathtub was, compared to the size of the flat, surprisingly big and they both fitted if Erin drew her legs close to her body, which she did now.

“I’m in,” she whispered.

Holtzmann opened her eyes again, stretching, and then spreading her legs, letting them rest on either side of Erin. Erin remained in her sitting position and didn’t relax.

“I should come by your place more often, I like taking baths.”

Erin nodded. “That’s the main reason I rented this flat.”

“Do you have soap?” Holtzmann asked.

“Sure.”

Erin turned around to reach for the soap and when she turned back, Holtzmann had moved and was now sitting in the middle of the bathtub, her face close to Erin’s.

“I can help you,” she suggested, plucking a bit of slime out of Erin’s hair. “Will you let me wash your hair?”

Erin nodded again and turned around. Holtzmann soaped up her hands and let her fingers run through Erin’s hair. Erin’s breath caught in her throat and she stiffened.

“You carry a lot of tension in your shoulders,” Holtzmann remarked, letting her hands wander down to Erin’s shoulders, squeezing them. “You need a massage.”

Erin didn’t reply, sure her voice would fail her. Holtzmann began massaging her shoulders anyway, softly at first, then with more strength until a tiny moan escaped Erin’s lips. Holtzmann hesitated for a moment, then continued, while Erin bit her tongue to keep quiet.

“Do you want to return the favour?” Holtzmann asked after a couple of minutes.

“Yes,” Erin answered, her voice tiny.

Holtzmann turned around, a bit of water slopping out of the bathtub. Erin followed her.

“You also have slime in your hair,” she remarked.

“It’s all right, I’ll wash it later.”

“I can do it for you,” Erin offered, her hands already in Holtzmann’s hair.

Holtzmann sighed deeply.

 


	10. December 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin didn’t know why they were whispering but it seemed appropriate in this situation. Her scalp was beginning to prickle because she still had soap in her hair, but she didn’t want to stop touching Holtzmann. So she massaged her shoulders until she could feel the water getting cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for 1,000 hits <3

Erin continued to massage Holtzmann’s scalp while Holtzmann sighed happily. Her hair was much softer than it looked and Erin enjoyed feeling it between her fingers. When she moved down to Holtzmann’s shoulders, she got a soft sigh as a response.

“I don’t think you really need a massage, you seem relaxed already,” Erin whispered.

“No, I get terrible pains in my shoulders from carrying the heavy equipment around with me all day,” Holtzmann whispered back.

Erin didn’t know why they were whispering but it seemed appropriate in this situation. Her scalp was beginning to prickle because she still had soap in her hair, but she didn’t want to stop touching Holtzmann. So she massaged her shoulders until she could feel the water getting cold.

“We should get out of the bathtub,” Erin said.

“I don’t want to,” Holtzmann complained. “This is nice.”

“How about ...,” Erin hesitated for a brief moment, “… you sleep at my place tonight?”

At this, Holtzmann listened up. “Really?”

“Your lab doesn’t look as if it has a bed in it,” Erin went on. “And it’s really late and the middle of winter and your hair is wet, it would be irresponsible of me if I’d let you go outside.”

“That’s true,” Holtzmann agreed thoughtfully.

“Also, my bed is big, we wouldn’t even have to squeeze into it.”

“That wouldn’t be a problem,” Holtzmann shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind.”

Erin acted as if she had overheard Holtzmann. “But first we need to wash out your hair.”

Holtzmann didn’t hesitate but immediately sank into the water until her head was covered. Due to sitting so closely together, her head came to rest between Erin’s legs and Erin could watch her face for a brief moment. She looked blissfully happy.

Once Erin had rid her hair of the soap as well, they dried off and Erin lent Holtzmann one of her pyjamas, a blue-chequered one, which Holtzmann said looked cute, and which Erin thought brought out the colour of her eyes. Erin’s flat was cold and they hurried to get into bed. With two people in it, it wasn’t as big as Erin had thought it would be, but with their hair still wet, they were cold anyway and cuddled up.

“Normally, I have to work more for a woman to invite me into her bed,” Holtzmann murmured drowsily.

“These are special circumstances,” Erin reminded her. “And we’re not doing what you usually do with women in bed.”

“And what would that be?”

Erin shrugged and blushed, but didn’t answer.

“Erin?”

“Sorry, it was dumb. Can we change the subject?”

“What do you usually do in bed then?”

“Sleep,” Erin answered. “And sometimes eat.”

“That’s daring.”

Holtzmann slowly drifted off to sleep, but Erin was kept awake by her own thoughts. Earlier, in the bathroom, she had been sure that Holtzmann wanted to kiss her. They had been so close together. But Erin was still trying to process that there were women who dated other women and lived with them as if they were men.

Erin had always thought that, one day, she would meet a nice man who wouldn’t want to force her to move to the other side of the country, but instead would support her career, and maybe they would have one or two children together. But Erin could never imagine actually having sex with that man. She liked thinking about holding his hand, even being kissed (gently), but seeing him naked and thinking about what he could or would do to her always gave her a small panic attack. She assumed this was normal, since the married women she talked to painted sex as a necessary chore, like washing the dishes, not something you were supposed to enjoy. Erin supposed it was just the way of things, since those women also didn’t like to think about having sex with their husbands.

When she was in college – an all-female college, of course, her parents refused to pay for anything where she was tempted by men due to living in close proximity to them – Erin discovered that there were women who didn’t think marrying a man was their only possible life-goal. She also heard rumours during that time that some women even lived with each other, shared the same bed. But it was nothing more than rumours and most of the women she had known back then ended up with men anyway, despite their many grand ideas.

Erin, in the privacy of her bedroom, found herself thinking more about women than men, but dismissed it as a fancy because she was confronted with women every day and didn’t have any men to look at. She was sure the longing to kiss her roommate would pass as soon as she was out of college. It never did, but at least she found a boyfriend and was sure she didn’t need to think about women in _inappropriate way_ s – as Abby would say – anymore.

Her boyfriend didn’t stop the thoughts, especially since he wanted to wait with sex until marriage. On the one hand, Erin was relieved because she didn’t have to come up with excuses not to sleep with him. On the other hand, she couldn’t find confirmation that her thoughts about women had only been due to how much time she spent with women, especially since they still haunted her whenever she was alone in bed at night.

Now that she knew Holtzmann and Holtzmann had openly talked about her sexuality, she considered, for the first time in her life, that she might also be attracted to women. The thought scared her because she couldn’t take Holtzmann home with her for Thanksgiving and introduce to her parents. She also couldn’t marry her and start a family. But she felt happy every time she saw Holtzmann and she had butterflies in her stomach and despite her nervousness earlier, she had enjoyed her bath with Holtzmann.

Carefully, she moved closer to the body next to her and cuddled up to Holtzmann, breathing her in.


	11. December 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Last time I tried it I almost froze to death,” Holtzmann reminded her. “That won’t stop me.”

Erin didn’t see Holtzmann again until the following Monday when she was standing outside her work, a pair of ice skates slung across her shoulder.

“I’m taking you skating,” she announced excitedly.

“I don’t think so,” Erin told her, concern in her voice. “Last time I tried it I broke my ankle.”

“Last time _I_ tried it I almost froze to death,” Holtzmann reminded her. “That won’t stop me.”

“I don’t know …,” Erin said slowly.

“Consider it our first date.”

“Our first what?”

“I think we should talk.”

So they did, on their way to Central Park.

“I want to go out with you,” Holtzmann said directly, without hesitation, without blushing.

Erin admired her for that.

“I’m assuming you don’t have any experience with this, but we can take things slowly.”

Erin’s heart was beating so fast she wasn’t able to breathe properly.

“Of course, if you find that this isn’t the right thing for you, we can stop after this date and go back to being colleagues, but I just wanted to see if you might be interested …” Holtzmann trailed off. Apparently, she had only prepared a couple of sentences.

“I don’t know,” Erin stammered, taken by surprise by Holtzmann’s request.

“You don’t have to, it was just an idea,” Holtzmann began again. “Since … since last Friday, I can’t stop thinking about you,” she admitted. “And I really want to get to know you better.”

“Do we have to start dating right away?” Erin asked. “Can’t we just be friends for now?”

“The trouble with that is that when you’re friends first and start dating and break up, then the friendship is ruined as well,” Holtzmann explained.

Erin bit her lip. “It’s not as if I haven’t thought about it, it’s just really sudden.”

“You … you thought about it?” Holtzmann stopped in the middle of the street, staring at Erin.

“I mean, in general,” Erin answered quickly.

“Sure,” Holtzmann said with a nod.

“It’s just … I’m really not sure about this, Holtzmann. I think I would just like to go home, please.”

Holtzmann nodded again. “All right.”

“I don’t want to be rude, but I would like to be alone right now,” Erin went on.

“Okay.” If Holtzmann was disappointed, she didn’t let it show. “Can I call you sometime?”

“Sure,” Erin told her. “Just not tonight, okay?”

They hugged and Erin rushed off towards her flat, her face burning with shame.

*

Erin didn’t know what had happened with her. She couldn’t say yes to Holtzmann’s offer because, as opposed to Holtzmann, she was not as independent and head-strong as she painted herself to be. She couldn’t imagine spending her whole life eating dinner in that strange bar Holtzmann took her to, having to hide her relationship in front of family members, friends, colleagues, and employers, trying to explain to her grandmother why she still didn’t have any children but lived together with a woman. Of course, Holtzmann hadn’t asked her to do any of these things. She had only asked her for a date.

At home, Erin was too nervous to cook herself dinner, so she ran herself a bath and tried to calm down by soaking in it. Then her bad conscience caught up with her and she regretted having been so mean with Holtzmann. She could have at least gone ice skating with her, but she had just left her standing in the middle of the road. Erin decided to buy her a Christmas present to make up for it.

Once she was cuddled up in bed and tried to sleep, her panic became even stronger. What if she had ruined her friendship with Holtzmann now? Then again, she wasn’t sure if Holtzmann even wanted to be her friend or just her girlfriend or date. _The trouble with that is that when you’re friends first and start dating and break up, then the friendship is ruined as well._ Apparently, if you didn’t even start dating, you could ruin it just as well.

Erin wished there was someone she could talk to, but if she mentioned her predicament to anyone, she couldn’t tell them that she was worrying so much about a woman and therefore also had no explanation for her problem. Abby was the first person who came to her mind, but she was sure that Abby would be shocked by the story and would advise Erin never to talk to Holtzmann again. The second person was her mother, but her mother would rather drown herself than talk to her daughter about this topic.

After much tossing and turning, Erin decided to confide in Abby. They had been friends for many years and Abby was the only person in her life who might understand. If not, Erin would only be surer that a life with Holtzmann – or with any woman – was impossible for her.

*

“It was so much fun,” Abby told her the next day. She had just gotten back from her holiday with Bennie and had immediately agreed to meet with Erin, especially since she had so much to tell her. “We could take you with us next time; getting out of New York does wonders to your soul.”

Erin let her talk, nervously playing with the cup of coffee in front of her. She had thought all night about what she wanted to say to Abby and had come up with several scripts, depending on her reaction.

“But what’s up with you? Did anything exciting happen while I was gone?”

Erin left out the part about meeting a real ghost because she thought that it would only distract Abby from the matter at hand. “I spent a lot of time with Holtzmann, actually,” she answered.

“Oh, did you?” Abby asked, sounding as if she had to pretend to be interested in that.

“We got to know each other rather well,” Erin continued. “But there is a small problem and I wanted to ask your opinion.”

“Sure,” Abby said, taking a sip out of her own cup of coffee. “What is it?”


	12. December 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes?” Abby prompted her to go on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's half of the story done :D

Erin took a deep breath. “I don’t actually know how to say it.”

“Spit it out Erin, you can tell me anything, you know that.”

Erin took another deep breath, shaking all over. “Holtzmann and I …,” she started, then stopped again.

“Yes?” Abby prompted her to go on.                

“Well, we spent a lot of time together while you were gone,” Erin continued.

“Are you trying to tell me that I’m no longer your best friend?” Abby asked her.

“No!” Erin exclaimed immediately. “But since you are my best friend, I also want to ask you not to get angry with me, no matter what I’m going to tell you.”

“Okay?” Abby said slowly.

“Holtzmann asked me out on a date,” Erin said quickly without looking at Abby.

“A _date_?” Abby repeated. “Like between a man and a woman?”

Erin nodded, still not looking at Abby.

“And now you’re asking me whether to accept that invitation?”

“No, no, I already said no, but …,”

“Good, because I would have told you to tell her no,” Abby interrupted her. “The nerve! Who does she think she is?”

Abby reacted exactly as Erin had anticipated, but now she had started on this topic, she also was determined to finish.

“That’s not all,” Erin continued quietly.

“Don’t tell me she tried to,” Abby lowered her voice to a whisper, “kiss you?”

“No, of course not.”

“What then?” Erin thought Abby sounded impatient, as if she didn’t want to talk about this topic any more.

“I … I don’t know if I’ve made a mistake by rejecting her so quickly,” Erin answered.

“Is she bothering you?”

“No, but … I like her,” Erin whispered.

“You _like_ her?”

“Yes, and I panicked and said I didn’t want to go on a date with her.”

“But, Erin, that’s not _normal_ ,” Abby pointed out. “I think you’re just upset because you went through a break-up recently and you spend too much time with Holtzmann and that’s confusing for you.”

“No, no, it’s not that,” Erin contradicted her, trying to hide how hurt she was that Abby said her feelings towards Holtzmann weren’t normal. “I get nervous whenever I think about seeing her again, I love spending time with her, I get flustered when she pays me attention. I’ve never felt like that with a man.”

“Well, I feel like that with Bennie,” Abby informed her, “and I’m sure you’ll find a man soon who makes you feel the same. In the meantime, I would try to see Holtzmann as little as possible so you won’t get more … _confused_.”

Erin couldn’t hold back her anger anymore. “I’m not confused!” she shouted.

“Shhhh,” made Abby.

“I’m not confused,” Erin repeated quietly. “I know what I’m feeling and I know what it is. I just wanted to ask you for your opinion on what I should do. I’m scared that I hurt Holtzmann by rejecting her so bluntly the other day and I’m a bit scared of my feelings for her, but all I need is your support.”

“I’m sorry,” Abby apologised but then continued, “I think this is wrong.”

“Wrong?” Erin asked.

“Two women … doing things like you and Holtzmann.”

“We aren’t doing anything,” Erin defended herself.

“Look, Erin, you’re my best friend,” Abby tried to be diplomatic. “However, I cannot condone your behaviour. Two women shouldn’t be romantically involved and I’m glad you rejected Holtzmann’s advances. That you think you’re drawn to her just shows how much she’s been able to manipulate you. If you want my honest opinion, I think you should never have anything to do with her ever again.”

“Okay,” Erin said, licking her lips.

“Do you see my point?” Abby asked.

“I know what you mean, but I think you’re wrong,” Erin told her. “I think it’s not abnormal that I like Holtzmann … in that way. It’s unfortunate that we can’t be together like a man and a woman, but that’s not our fault, it’s the fault of people like you.”

Abby stared at her. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Erin answered.

“I cannot be friends with you if you are going to continue on that path,” Abby said after a brief pause. “You have to decide between me and her.”

“She accepts me for who I am,” Erin told her. “You’ve been trying to stop me from working ever since I started my job, you think you’re better than me because you have a boyfriend, and now you want me to stop seeing Holtzmann. Why can’t you accept there are different people and not everyone is like you?”

“Are you really willing to risk our friendship for a woman you’ve only known for two weeks?” Abby asked.

“It doesn’t matter if I’ve only known her for two weeks,” Erin answered, her face burning up. “She accepts me and that’s all I need to know.”

With that, she stood up and put on her coat without looking at Abby once, then left the coffeeshop and rushed back to work, wiping tears from her cheek.

At work, her colleagues ignored her, except for when they gave her instructions on how to file documents, and Erin was glad because she didn’t feel like small talk. Shortly before she left for home, one of the other secretaries tapped her on the shoulder and handed her an envelope, telling her someone had deposited it with her during Erin’s lunch break. Erin’s name was written on it in a hand-writing she didn’t recognise. Eager to get home and shut the door on the world, she stuffed it inside her bag, determined to open it at home.

She almost expected Holtzmann to wait for her again, but the street was deserted. Erin was almost sorry for that, but she also didn’t feel like telling Holtzmann about her fight with Abby. The last thing she needed was another person giving her advice on who to see.

There was also no Holtzmann waiting in front of her building or in front of her flat and Erin wondered, for the first time, if she had not only lost Abby, but also Holtzmann, and was now alone.


	13. December 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry for scaring you the other day. That wasn’t my intention. I’m also sorry if I misread certain signs. I thought our relationship was moving into a certain direction, but I was mistaken and if I hurt you, I hope I can still fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for 100 kudos <3

In the safety of her apartment, Erin sat down on her bed and pulled the envelope out of her bag. She carefully opened it so as not to tear the paper within. The envelope contained a single sheet, filled with the same handwriting as on the envelope.

It read:

 

_Dear Erin,_

_I’m sorry for scaring you the other day. That wasn’t my intention. I’m also sorry if I misread certain signs. I thought our relationship was moving into a certain direction, but I was mistaken and if I hurt you, I hope I can still fix this._

_Tomorrow, I will be going to dinner in my favourite bar – as you’ve probably guessed – and if you are still interested in staying in contact with me, you’re welcome to join me. I’ll be waiting for you at our table._

_Yours,_

_Holtzmann_

 

Erin took a deep breath. Holtzmann wasn’t angry with her. She even apologised for something that wasn’t her fault. Erin couldn’t believe her luck. She would have loved to immediately take a cab to Holtzmann’s place and surprise her, but she decided to wait for the next day. She would explain why she had reacted the way she had and then Holtzmann would see that it hadn’t been her fault. Then they could carry on as before or even take their relationship to the next level.

*

When Erin arrived at the bar, it looked empty, just as it had last time. She knocked on the door and waited for it to open, but nothing happened. Erin tried to look in through the window but she couldn’t see anything, so she knocked again, but again there was no answer. Maybe there was a secret knock she needed to use, but then Holtzmann would have told her about that in her letter.

Since Holtzmann’s flat wasn’t far from the bar, she decided to look for Holtzmann there. Again, she climbed the stairs to Holtzmann’s flat; there was no music playing this time and Erin also listened outside the door for sounds, so she wouldn’t surprise Vanessa and Holtzmann again. All was quiet, so she knocked and pushed open the door.

Holtzmann was leaning against one of the tables, Vanessa standing in front of her. Holtzmann had her hands around Vanessa’s hips and was holding her close. Vanessa’s blouse was open and Erin could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra. Holtzmann was kissing down Vanessa’s neck while squeezing her butt; Vanessa had her eyes closed and her head thrown back.

Erin couldn’t look away, she couldn’t talk, she couldn’t even clear her throat. All she could do was stare at the scene in front of her. She felt betrayed, hurt, jealous, surprised, all at the same time. If she could have moved, she would have stormed out of the lab, but so she stood glued to the spot, unable to form a single coherent thought.

“Erin!” Holtzmann had felt a draft from the open door and turned towards her.

Vanessa jumped back and immediately started to button up her blouse.

“I’m sorry,” Erin stammered, finding her voice.

“What are you doing here?” Holtzmann asked.

Erin didn’t know who was more shocked: Holtzmann or Vanessa.

“You invited me to dinner,” Erin managed to say, her heart clenching in her chest.

“I thought you would come later,” Holtzmann admitted.

“We didn’t set a time.”

“Do you want me to go?” Vanessa asked.

“No, please, stay,” Erin said. “I think I’ll be going.”

She turned around and started down the stairs. Her feelings caught up with her now and she felt hot tears burning on her face. This morning, she had expected she could work it out with Holtzmann, but Holtzmann, after being rejected by her, had quickly found comfort with Vanessa. It was obvious she didn’t need Erin.

“Erin, please wait,” Holtzmann shouted after her. “Let me explain.”

“There’s no need,” Erin answered, her voice breaking in the middle of the sentence.

Now Holtzmann came rushing after her and Erin considered for a split second to sprint down the stairs and to avoid her, but then decided against it.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Holtzmann began to explain.

“What does it look like?” Erin asked, laughing nervously.

“You’re crying,” Holtzmann observed.

“It’s nothing,” Erin said, turning her face away.

Holtzmann cupped her chin. “Please, Erin, come to dinner with me and let me explain.”

“No,” Erin said.

Vanessa, her coat open, rushed passed them.

“We can go someplace else, we don’t have to go to the bar,” Holtzmann said.

“No,” Erin repeated. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you.”

“Just … please, Erin, let me explain,” Holtzmann begged again.

Erin twisted out of the hand on her cheek. “I don’t want you to _explain_ anything to me, Holtzmann. I’ve seen enough. To think that I had a huge fight with my best friend because of you and you use the first opportunity you get to … to start _something_ with another woman.”

“I didn’t …,” Holtzmann started, but then realised it was no use. “I’m so sorry, Erin, and I hope you can forgive me one day.”

Erin shivered and realised she was sobbing. “You said we could take things slowly,” she shouted, the stairwell ringing with her words.

“I still want to do that,” Holtzmann said, her voice shaking. “Please, Erin.”

Erin started to climb down the stairs again, slowly this time because she couldn’t see well through her tears.

“Wait,” Holtzmann shouted after her, but she didn’t follow, and Erin ignored her.

Out on the street, Erin glanced around for a cab, but was too upset to wave one down, so she walked home, her face buried in her scarf. She didn’t want passers-by to see her tears and she hoped no one would ask her if everything was all right. Halfway to her flat, she paused and leaned against a wall, trying to catch her breath. She could feel herself getting light-headed because she had trouble breathing. If this was how it felt to have your heart broken, Erin didn’t want to go through that ever again.


	14. December 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erin froze. “What do you want?” she asked coolly, now wide awake.

On Thursday morning, Erin woke up to a loud bang on her door. At first, she felt disoriented, trying to find Holtzmann in the dark beside her, having completely forgotten what had happened the previous evening. When she found the bed empty but the banging persisting, she slowly got up and went to her front door.

“Who is it?” she asked drowsily through the wood.

“It’s Vanessa,” came the answer.

Erin froze. “What do you want?” she asked coolly, now wide awake.

“I need your help,” Vanessa answered. “Please open up.”

“I don’t think so. Go away.”

“This is about Holtzmann,” Vanessa continued unperturbed. “Something horrible has happened to her.”

Here, Erin was almost tempted to open up the door. Almost. “So? That doesn’t concern me.” Her voice sounded cruel and it made her shiver.

“Please, Erin, I don’t know who else to ask,” Vanessa begged. “Please, let me in.”

Erin sighed deeply, but gave in an opened the door.

Vanessa looked horrible. There were tears running down her face, her coat was buttoned up the wrong way and she had lost one of her gloves. Erin waved her inside and showed her into the kitchen, but didn’t offer her anything to drink.

“What is it?” she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“She’s gone,” Vanessa answered.

“So?”

“After you left yesterday, she went out and she hasn’t come back.”

“It’s been about twelve hours, that’s no reason to panic,” Erin pointed out.

“She told me she was gonna go look for a ghost,” Vanessa said.

Erin paused. “I thought you don’t know what she does.”

“She told me yesterday.”

“And you believe her?”

“Of course I do, she’s never lied to me.”

“Okay?”

“She told me she had a new case, and she went off, but she hasn’t come back.”

“Maybe she defeated the ghost and checked into a hotel because she was tired,” Erin said. “There are about a million reasons why she hasn’t come home yet and only one is that something horrible has happened to her.”

“Please, just come with me and have a look.”

“I can’t, I have to go to work.”

For the first time, Vanessa turned from upset to angry. “This is Holtzmann we’re talking about, not a lost cat.”

“Okay, okay, I can go to work and pretend that I’m getting sick and help you.”

“Fine,” Vanessa agreed.

“Do you know where she went to?” Erin asked.

“She said something about a subway station.”

“Again? Did she mention a woman named Patty Tolan?”

“She did, actually,” Vanessa answered. “Do you know her?”

“We went to her last week,” Erin told her. “We got rid of a ghost for her.”

“Maybe it came back,” Vanessa shrugged. “Anyway, she went to deal with it.”

*

Erin kept her word. Vanessa came with her to work and waited in a coffeeshop opposite the building, while Erin acted as if nothing was wrong and started on her duties. After half an hour, she excused herself and went to the bathroom where she spent almost 20 minutes. Of course, when she got back, she was asked if everything was all right, to which she replied she had thrown up and would go home.

Vanessa waited for her impatiently. “What took you so long?” she asked.

“I’m sorry, I had to be believable,” Erin shot back.

They took a cab and went to Patty’s subway station. Patty was sitting in her booth, but came outside to greet Erin.

“What are you doing here?”

“Is Holtzmann … I mean, my colleague here?” Erin asked.

“I called her yesterday because I stumbled across another ghost, but she hasn’t gotten back to me.”

“Yesterday evening, she wanted to come here and deal with it,” Vanessa interjected. “You haven’t seen her?”

“Er … no,” Patty answered. “You’re more than welcome to look on the platform though, if you want.”

So they did. It was much busier than before, but she walked swiftly towards the entrance to the tunnel where they had seen the ghost last time. Vanessa followed her reluctantly.

“Holtzmann?” Erin shouted into the tunnel.

There was no answer. Carefully, Erin climbed down into the darkness.

“You’re not allowed to do that,” Patty reminded her again. “The trains come every couple of minutes.”

Erin didn’t listen to her, but carefully moved along next to the train tracks, while Vanessa and Patty remained on the platform. She regretted not having brought a torch with her, but there was nothing she could do about that now. Carefully, she moved further into the tunnel when the light from the train on the opposite platform illuminated her surroundings. In that light, she saw Holtzmann sitting next to the tracks.

“Holtzmann!” she exclaimed, rushing towards her and ignoring what feelings the sight of that woman stirred in her chest.

Holtzmann looked at her with tired eyes.

“Did you spend all night here?” Erin wanted to know, bending down.

“Where am I?” Holtzmann asked.

“In a subway tunnel. You have to get up, the next train will be here shortly.”

“What year is it?”

Erin felt Holtzmann’s forehead. “You’re burning up,” she noted. “I think you’re confused.”

“What year is it?” Holtzmann repeated.

“1957,” Erin answered.

“1957,” Holtzmann repeated slowly. “I must have been asleep for a long time.”

“What are you talking about?” Erin asked. “Please get up.”

Holtzmann finally did as she was told and scrambled to her feet.

“What am I wearing?” she asked, regarding her outfit with disgust.

“Your usual outfit,” Erin answered, trying to pull Holtzmann towards the platform.

“What’s your name?” Holtzmann wanted to know.

Erin stopped shortly before the platform. “Are you feeling all right?” she asked, unable to hide how concerned she felt.

“I haven’t felt better in many years,” Holtzmann sighed. “And thanks to this new body, I’ll be able to enjoy life just as much as I did before I died.”

“How do you mean?” Erin asked, starting to panic.

“My name is Claudia Watson and I’ve finally found a way to return to this plane of existence.”


	15. December 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only, it wasn’t Holtzmann who was looking back at her. Erin looked into her eyes, but someone else was looking back.

“No, you’re not,” was Erin’s first reaction. “You’re Jillian Holtzmann, a scientist specialising in paranormal phenomenon.”

“Oh, her,” was Holtzmann’s answer. “Yes, she’s in here somewhere, but it’s only a matter of time until this body is finally mine alone.”

“What are you talking about?” Erin said, staring at Holtzmann.

Only, it wasn’t Holtzmann who was looking back at her. Erin looked into her eyes, but someone else was looking back.

“You’re telling the truth,” she whispered. “You possessed Holtzmann.”

“No, she let me in out of her own free will,” answered Holtzmann, or rather Claudia Watson. “I told her I could show her things she’s never seen before and I could expand her horizon, help her understand the world of ghosts. She believed me readily and let me in, so there’s really nothing you can do about it.”

Erin let go of Holtzmann’s arm. “You can’t just do that, can you?”

Holtzmann smirked. “I don’t think there are any laws preventing me from doing that.”

“What’s going on?” Vanessa asked. “Why is she talking so weirdly?”

“I don’t know,” Erin answered. “I think she might be possessed?”

“Like possessed by the devil?”

“By a ghost,” Erin answered.

“I can hear you, you know,” said Holtzmann, “and I can answer for myself.”

“What’s going on with you, Holtzmann?” Vanessa asked.

“As I’ve already said, I’m not Holtzmann. My name is Claudia Watson.”

“Did you hit your head or something?” Vanessa wanted to know next.

Erin looked around nervously. People were starting to look at them funnily. Patty tried to shield them as best as possible, but she was only one woman.

“We should discuss this someplace else,” Erin whispered in Vanessa’s direction. “People are staring at us.”

“I’m not coming with you,” Claudia interjected. “I’m finally free and I’m planning on enjoying this freedom without anyone telling me what to do.”

Before Erin could stop her, she made to push her way through the crowd.

“Wait for us,” Vanessa called after her.

But when Claudia couldn’t get past the people in her way, she raised her hand and somehow conjured up a blast that pushed everyone aside. Frozen in shock, Erin and Vanessa couldn’t do anything but watch, as Holtzmann’s body was walked along the platform and then vanished out of sight.

“What are we going to do?” Vanessa sighed desperately. “Is she telling the truth? Has she really been possessed?”

“It seems like it,” Erin answered, thinking fast. “We should get back to Holtzmann’s place; maybe she has a book on possession.”

“You’re not going anywhere without an explanation,” Patty interjected.

“There’s no time.” Erin was getting desperate.

“I won’t be using your services in future,” Patty told them. “This is highly unprofessional behaviour.”

Erin, already halfway along the platform, turned around to shout back at her, “Fine, whatever.”

*

Holtzmann had a vast number of books on ghosts, but Erin quickly realised it would take them ages to read through them. They could use all the help they could get, so Erin decided to call Abby.

Erin had expected that Abby would hang up immediately as soon as she recognised who was calling, and was surprised to discover she had been wrong. Erin told her there was an emergency and gave her the address of Holtzmann’s lab. Abby listened to her without saying much, but ended the call by saying she would come by if she had time, but Erin shouldn’t count on her.

Vanessa had already started looking through the books, trying to hurry, but at the same time hoping she didn’t overlook something important. Erin picked up a book herself and started to skim the table of contents. She had no idea what the book was about, but decided to leaf through it anyway.

They worked quietly, only sometimes interrupted by a spur-of-the-moment scream when they thought they had discovered something important, which always turned out to be a misunderstanding. The books were written in an extremely complicated language (Erin suspected paranormal investigators were trying to compensate for not being seen as real scientists) and often she had no idea what she was reading.

When it began to turn dark outside, Erin put down the book she was holding and rubbed her eyes. “Do you mind if I turn on the radio?” she asked Vanessa. “Only maybe they’re talking about Holtzmann – or Claudia – on the news, who knows.”

“Sure,” Vanessa nodded, not looking up from her book.

Erin walked to the radio and switched it on. It stood right next to the window and she decided to take a short break, scanning the street below. She observed people coming home from work, nervously glancing around. There was also a group of young men loitering outside the building opposite, and a police car slowly drove past.

During this quiet moment, Erin asked herself for the first time if it was her fault that the ghost had been able to possess Holtzmann. Then she remembered what she had seen and was less sure she should blame herself.

“Vanessa?” she said slowly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Vanessa agreed.

Without turning away from the window, Erin continued, “Holtzmann told me that you two used to date but it didn’t work out.”

“We did, yes,” Vanessa confirmed.

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

Erin could hear Vanessa put down the book she was reading. Then she got up and walked to the window.

“What makes you say that?” she asked, facing Erin and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“You kissed her the other day,” Erin pointed out.

“Oh, that,” Vanessa sighed. “Look, Erin, I don’t think it’s my place to talk about this. You should really discuss it with Holtzmann.”

“What if we don’t get her back?” Erin asked. “I don’t think I can stand not knowing.”

“We will get her back,” Vanessa assured her, “and then you can ask her yourself.”

Erin bit her lip. “If she’s still possessed a week from now, will you tell me?”

Vanessa nodded. “I will, if you tell me whether you have feelings for her or not.”


	16. December 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh?” Vanessa made. “In what way? Like sexually?"

Erin swallowed. “I’ve been trying to figure that out myself,” she answered honestly.

“Holtzmann can be confusing, I know,” Vanessa nodded. “One minute, she is all over you, the next she ignores you for two months.”

“It’s not that,” Erin said. “It’s that I … I never,” she took a deep breath, “I’ve never been with a woman.”

“Oh?” Vanessa made. “In what way? Like sexually?”

Erin blushed. “Anything. I haven’t even kissed a woman.”

“Oh.” This time it wasn’t a question. “And still Holtzmann asked you out on a date?”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Erin asked.

“Normally, she doesn’t date women who are inexperienced,” Vanessa answered. “Does she know you never …?”

Erin nodded.

“Wow, she must really like you then.” Vanessa seemed impressed.

“I didn’t know that about Holtzmann,” Erin said after a brief pause.

“And you’re trying to figure out whether you like women, right?” Vanessa asked. “In general?”

Again, Erin nodded.

“Hm, let me see.” Vanessa began pacing the room. “I can tell you how I figured it out, if that helps.”

“Only if you don’t mind.”

But before Vanessa could continue, Erin caught something coming from the radio. She rushed over and turned up the volume.

“This evening, a woman was apprehended by the New York Police Department for walking in the middle of traffic on Brooklyn Bridge. The woman is confused and unwilling to cooperate. If anyone knows anything about a blonde woman in her early 30s, please come forward.”

“That’s her,” Erin said breathlessly. “Let’s go and get her.”

Vanessa held her back. “I don’t think so. Did you see what she did to the people on the platform? And what are we going to tell the police? We don’t even know what we should do about her situation.”

“It’s better if she’s here with us,” Erin contradicted her.

“Only, she’s not going to stay here,” Vanessa pointed out. “She wants to _enjoy life_ or whatever, so if we don’t let her go, she’ll make us.”

Erin bit her lip uncertainly.

“Believe me, she’s safe with the police,” Vanessa continued, “and once we’ve figured out how to help her, we can go get her.”

“All right,” Erin agreed. “Then let’s not waste any more time.”

They started going through the books again, listening to the radio as much as possible. Holtzmann wasn’t mentioned again, but they also didn’t make any progress with their work. Erin began to doubt that they would ever find an answer on how to deal with this situation, when Vanessa made, “Ha!”

“It’s about a similar case,” she told Erin. “It says here, a man started to claim that he was actually a general who had been dead for more than 200 years and they tried an exorcism on him.”

“Did it work?” Erin asked eagerly.

“No, he continued spreading his confusing tale until, after about two weeks, his body exploded.”

“ _Exploded_?” Erin echoed.

“Maybe our bodies aren’t made to house ghosts,” Vanessa said thoughtfully. “All the more reason to find a solution as fast as possible.”

“Mark the page and let’s continue,” Erin said eagerly.

She glanced at her watch about half-an-hour later when she felt her stomach rumble. It was ten in the evening and she hadn’t eaten all day. She wasn’t surprised that Abby hadn’t shown up to help them, but Erin also couldn’t blame her.

“I’m hungry,” she told Vanessa.

“I’m going to get us something to eat,” Vanessa answer. “You keep going.”

She grabbed her coat and rushed downstairs, probably to her bar. Erin hadn’t thought about the bar all day. It must have been closed and Vanessa probably lost a lot of money, but she wanted to help Erin and Holtzmann. Erin sighed deeply and rubbed her eyes, yawned and stretched. The radio was playing soft jazz music and she could feel herself getting drowsy. She decided to put her head down on the books and close her eyes for five minutes, sure she would be able to focus better once her eyes were rested.

*

When she woke up again, Vanessa was standing over her, a brown bag under her arm. “There’s someone here to see you.”

“Abby!” Erin shouted, pushing the books away so she could get up. “What are you doing here?”

“You asked me for help,” Abby answered stiffly, not making eye contact. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier but Bennie needed me at home tonight.”

“I’m glad you came at all,” Erin said, beaming. “We were just about to eat. Are you hungry?”

Abby shook her head. She sat down on one of Holtzmann’s wobbly chairs, while Vanessa and Erin had dinner. Taking turns, they told Abby about the whole affair and, to Erin’s surprise, Abby believed them.

“I heard about her on the news,” she told them. “I had no idea it was her, though.”

After dinner, they continued with their research, but didn’t find anything.

“From what I’ve gathered,” Vanessa said at two in the morning while yawning loudly, “the only way to get a ghost out of someone is by killing them.”

“I don’t think that’s an option,” Erin said.

They spent the night on Holtzmann’s floor. Erin didn’t sleep well, but that was also due to the radio running all night because she was scared of missing news about Holtzmann. Abby stayed with them, but remained in her chair, only nodding off from time to time.

The next morning, after Vanessa had made them coffee, they decided it couldn’t go on like this.

“We have to get her out of police custody,” Erin decided, “and then we can try whatever comes to mind.”

“Didn’t you say she had powers?” Abby pointed out.

“It doesn’t matter,” Erin said determinately. “It’s either that or risking that she could explode anytime.”

They agreed that Vanessa would pretend to be Holtzmann’s cousin. First, they made a quick detour to Vanessa’s flat, which was above the bar, so they could wash their faces and brush their hair, before making their way to the police station.


	17. December 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa gave him a winning smile. “Really? Mother will be so pleased to have her niece home for Christmas.”

The police station was almost deserted on this Friday morning. And since they were three women and acceptably dressed, a police officer was found immediately who listened to their problems.

“It’s my cousin, you see,” Vanessa sighed. “She’s … confused. Her mother died recently and now she thinks she’s a woman who lives in the 19th century. The shock has been too much for her.”

The police officer nodded and smiled softly. “I see,” he said. “Usually, we would have to press charges, but those are special circumstances. I’m sure I can arrange for you to take her home with you.”

Vanessa gave him a winning smile. “Really? Mother will be so pleased to have her niece home for Christmas.”

The police officer vanished for 20 minutes which gave Erin enough time to bite her lip and worry about everything that could go wrong. She just hoped they would be able to convince the ghost to come with them without blowing something up. Abby looked just as worried as her, but Vanessa tried to appear calm.

The police officer returned with Holtzmann walking behind him – or with Claudia Watson, as Erin had to remind herself. She looked at the women who were waiting for them, her face a blank mask. Erin couldn’t tell if she even recognised them.

Vanessa jumped up. “Claudia!” she exclaimed, pulling Holtzmann’s body into a hug.

Claudia didn’t reciprocate.

“I have to ask you to sign this.” The police officer handed Vanessa a form.

Vanessa signed it.

“Merry Christmas!” the police officer wished them as they left the station.

“Thank you for getting me out of there,” Claudia said coldly. “I’ll be going then.”

“No, you won’t.” Vanessa grabbed her by the arm. “You’re coming with us.”

“We want to help you get around our world a bit better,” Erin interjected quickly. “So you won’t be picked up the police again.”

“I don’t believe you,” Claudia said, immediately seeing through Erin’s excuse. “And don’t make the mistake of thinking about stopping me.”

“Come on,” Abby said, annoyance in her voice. “You know as well as we that you don’t stand a chance in this world. You don’t even know what a car is.”

Claudia, Erin, and Vanessa looked at her in surprise.

“You’ve been dead for how many years? Things have changed and you can’t just wonder off and pretend to know what’s going on. You’ll get yourself killed, or rather the body you’re in.”

Erin thought Abby sounded harsh and she would have never dared to talk to the ghost like that, but it seemed to be working. Claudia considered what she had heard.

“I still don’t trust you, you know,” she said after a brief pause. “Why would you want to help me? Don’t you want your friend back?”

“She’s no friend of mine,” Abby said and Erin knew she meant it.

“She made a big mistake,” Erin said slowly.

Only Vanessa remained quiet.

“A mistake so grave that you won’t fight for her?” Claudia still mistrusted them.

“She’s …,” Abby started, but Erin interrupted her.

“She broke my heart,” she said quickly. “I thought … I thought she wanted to … to be together with me, but I was mistaken.”

Abby stared at her in disbelief. Claudia looked at her in surprise. And Erin hoped that if Holtzmann could hear her she didn’t believe her. The last thing she needed was for Holtzmann to give up hope.

“All right,” Claudia said finally. “I’ll come with you. But the first sign of any funny business and I’m out of here. Understood?”

They all nodded and started to make their way back to Holtzmann’s lab.

“I have a flat,” Vanessa said when they were almost there. “I live by myself, so it’s no problem if you stay there for a couple of days.”

“You live by yourself?” Claudia repeated. “That’s very unusual for a woman.”

“A lot has changed,” Vanessa told her. “You’ll see.”

For the second time that day, Erin was led into Vanessa’s flat. The last time, there had been no time to look around, but there was nothing stopping her from doing so now. Vanessa’s flat was not much bigger than her own, but the furniture looked more expensive and Vanessa owned a lot of books. Uncomfortably, they all sat down on a sofa in the living room, not sure what to do next. Erin had no idea how you taught someone from the 19th century how to survive in 1950s New York City.

“I’m really sorry I can’t stay here, I have to get to work,” Vanessa sighed when no one else started a conversation. “But I’m sure Abby and Erin will be able to teach you everything you need to know.”

Erin almost protested, but Vanessa looked at her with a certain look in her eyes and Erin realised that she wouldn’t be going back to work at all. She would go back to Holtzmann’s lab to try and find a solution for their problem. Abby, however, didn’t show any sign of wanting to go home soon, which confused Erin because she hadn’t been home in almost a day and it would soon be time to cook dinner for Bennie.

Once Vanessa had gone, Erin sat down next to Claudia. “I’m guessing one of the most important things you need to know is that you don’t walk into traffic.”

“What did you do back when you were …?” Abby wanted to know.

“Do you mean if I worked? God, no,” Claudia laughed. “I was rich, well, my husband was. I’m sure his family still lives in New York, they will probably want to support me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Erin said, looking uncertain. “Most people don’t believe ghosts are real.”

“Have you thought about how you are going to afford life?” Abby asked.

Claudia looked at her, offence in her eyes. “Are you suggesting I work?”

“I’m not suggesting anything, but times have changed. I mean, good for you if you are rich, but most of us need to work to earn money.”


	18. December 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They told her about their careers, friends, boyfriends. Claudia listened with mild interest, and Erin could tell that she would never want to lead a life like theirs. But it kept her occupied and it appeared as if they were trying to help her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the delay, I sometimes work on the story at work and yesterday I forgot to send it to myself.

Erin decided it would be best to keep Claudia talking, so she wouldn’t see through them. “I’m sure we’ll find a solution for that,” Erin said. “Maybe you won’t even have to work; there are still enough rich men around.”

Abby snorted with laughter, but Erin glared at her, and she stopped.

Claudia didn’t seem to be fazed by Abby’s outburst. “What do women do today?” she wanted to know, but looked bored as soon as Abby and Erin began to tell her.

They told her about their careers, friends, boyfriends. Claudia listened with mild interest, and Erin could tell that she would never want to lead a life like theirs. But it kept her occupied and it appeared as if they were trying to help her.

“Your friend, Vanessa,” Claudia started suddenly. “What does she do?”

“She runs a bar,” Erin answered.

“I’d like to see it,” Claudia decided and got up.

“Now?” Erin stammered. “I’m sure she’s very busy.”

“I don’t mind, I just want to have a look at it.”

Claudia walked towards the door, but before Erin or Abby could do something and before Claudia reached it, it swung open. Patty was standing in the doorframe and Erin had never been so happy to see anyone.

“Who are you?” Claudia wanted to know, mustering Patty.

“Holtzmann,” Patty said, sounding relieved.

“That’s not Holtzmann,” Erin said slowly. “That’s Claudia Watson.”

“What are you talking about?” Patty asked, looking at Erin. “Of course that’s Holtzmann.”

“My name is Claudia Watson,” Claudia corrected her. “I’ve come back to the plane of the living.”

“What does that even mean?” Patty said irritably. “You must have hit your head, you’ll be fine in a couple of days.”

“Don’t question me,” Claudia demanded in a booming voice.

“All right, all right,” Patty appeased her. “Keep your hat on. But can anyone explain to me what’s going on?”

So they did, slowly and with as much detail as possible to keep Claudia from seeing Vanessa’s bar and discovering that she wasn’t there. Patty listened intently, asked lots of questions, and often also addressed Claudia. It took some convincing, but by the end of an hour, Patty realised that they were telling the truth.

“That reminds me, Erin,” she said suddenly. “Vanessa is looking for you. She’s waiting at the bar.”

“And you’re only telling me that now?” Erin sighed and jumped up immediately. “What does she want?”

“I don’t know, go and ask her,” Patty shrugged.

“I’m coming with you, Claudia declared. “I want to see that bar.”

There was nothing they could do. Erin secretly cursed Patty for not having talked to her in private, but she had to accept Claudia was coming with them. The only thing she could do was hope that Vanessa hadn’t found out how to help Holtzmann and wanted to discuss it with her because it would be impossible with Claudia there.

Downstairs, Erin knocked on the door of the bar. Vanessa opened it.

“What took you so long?” she asked.

“Patty didn’t say,” Erin started, but Vanessa pulled her inside.

“I want to see your bar,” Claudia said, pushing Erin inside.

“Go ahead,” Vanessa invited her.

Erin started to say that Claudia had wanted to come along and there was nothing they had been able to do, when Patty suddenly jumped forward and grabbed Claudia’s arms.

“What are you doing?” Claudia shrieked.

“Quick, the rope,” Patty said, extending her hand.

Vanessa handed her a rope and Patty bound Claudia’s arms behind her back.

“What are you doing?” Claudia asked again, unable to free herself from the rope.

“As long as her hands stay like that, we should be fine,” Vanessa told Erin and Abby.

“What’s going on?” Erin wanted to know, but before Vanessa could answer, Claudia started to scream.

Patty picked up a piece of cloth from the bar and stuffed it into Claudia’s mouth.

“I’m sorry, this was the only way,” Vanessa answered Erin’s question when it was quiet again. “I couldn’t let you know any other way because I was afraid Claudia would grow suspicious of us.”

“Did you find a way to help her then?” Abby asked.

“We did, yes, but you’re not going to like it.”

“What is it?” Erin asked.

“Well, there’s another way, we won’t have to kill her,” Vanessa continued.

“Was that ever an option?” Abby sounded shocked.

“Of course not, but it seemed to be the only way.”

Claudia was struggling against her restraints, but Patty kept a firm grip on her.

“Then what is it?” Erin asked nervously.

“We have to hit her,” Vanessa answered, “until the ghost goes out of her.”

“Absolutely not,” Erin put her foot down. “We’re not going to hit her.”

“It’s the only way. Here.” Vanessa handed her a book.

Erin read, “Through possessing a human, the ghost forms an almost inseparable bond with a living body. Usually, this bond can only be separated by killing the body, so the ghost is, yet again, without a vessel. For many centuries, this has been the only way to end possession. Recent developments, however, suggest, there is another, less permanent way, to rid body and mind of external influences. The body only needs to be hurt to an extend that is unbearable to the entity within it, causing it to vacate its vessel.”

“No,” Erin shouted again. “This book tells us to torture her until Claudia leaves out of her own free will. I won’t do it.”

“We have to, it’s the only way,” Vanessa tried to make her see reason. “It’s still better than killing her, right?”

“It’s almost as bad,” Erin answered. “I refuse to hurt her.”

“Then we have to wait for her body to explode,” Vanessa shrugged.

“Don’t sound so indifferent,” Erin screamed. “There _has_ to be another way.”

“There isn’t.” It was Patty who answered her this time. “I helped Vanessa with the books and, believe me, we were very thorough.”

Erin could feel she was close to tears but refused to let the others see them. “Say something, Abby,” she demanded.


	19. December 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you can come up with another way, you’re more than welcome to try it,” Patty interjected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry for forgetting to post a chapter yesterday. And I also wanted to thank you for 2,000 hits.

“If they say it’s the only way, then I’m guessing it’s the only way,” Abby said with a shrug.

“Why are you all so indifferent?” Erin wanted to know.

“We’re not,” Vanessa answered. “We want to help her as much as you, and we’re prepared to try anything to get that ghost out of her.”

“If you can come up with another way, you’re more than welcome to try it,” Patty interjected.

“All right.” Erin licked her lips in concentration. “Just give me 15 minutes.”

She began pacing up and down the bar, thoughts racing through her head. On the one hand, she was prepared to do anything to help Holtzmann, on the other hand, she didn’t want to hurt her. However, this seemed to be the only way in this situation. Even if Holtzmann wouldn’t be able to feel them torture her, which Erin doubted, she would still suffer the consequences. Moreover, the more time they wasted discussing it, the closer Holtzmann got to vanishing completely or being ripped to pieces.

“All right,” Erin said after some time, “there’s something I want to try and if it doesn’t work, we can do it your way.”

“What is it?” Vanessa asked eagerly, not wanting to torture Holtzmann any more than Erin did.

“I can’t tell you,” Erin said, already regretting that she had announced it. “Please make sure to hold her tight,” she asked of Patty.

Patty fastened her grip on Claudia and Erin took a few steps across the room to be closer to them. For the first time since their encounter in the subway tunnel, she was seeing eye to eye with Claudia. It was still impossible for her to recognise anything of Holtzmann in her eyes, and she hoped she was still somewhere in there.

“What are you doing?” Claudia wanted to know, panic in her voice.

“You’ll see,” Erin answered, purposefully remaining mysterious.

She stepped even closer to Claudia because Claudia was trying to get away from her. When Erin put her hands on Claudia’s shoulders, there was a brief struggle, but Patty was holding her tightly. Erin licked her lips, then leaned close and softly placed them on Holtzmann’s. The body before her froze. Whatever it had been that Claudia had been expecting, it wasn’t this. She also didn’t break off the kiss. They remained like this for a couple of seconds before Erin could feel a response from the other woman. Claudia (or Holtzmann?) was leaning into the kiss with passion and Erin could feel herself blush. Then she felt a sudden coldness erupt from Holtzmann’s body and everyone in the room shivered.

“I didn’t think our first kiss would involve me having my hands tied behind my back,” Holtzmann said, giggling.

“Holtzmann!” Erin exclaimed, blushing even more.

Patty let go of Holtzmann’s arms and Vanessa came rushing towards them to pull Holtzmann into a hug.

“How did you know that would work?” Abby wanted to know.

“I didn’t,” Erin answered with a grin, “but I hoped it would be enough to catch the ghost by surprise.”

“That wasn’t it,” Holtzmann admitted.

Erin turned to her. “If you were only pretending to be possessed, I swear –“

“No, no, I was possessed,” Holtzmann said immediately. “It was weird because I couldn’t move, but I could see and hear everything.”

“Listen, Holtzmann, what I said about you hurting me …”

“I know,” Holtzmann said with a soft smile, “but let me finish. I could feel there was someone else inside my body, another presence, and this presence was working on slowly suffocating me. I realised I had to do something, but the ghost was too strong. There was no way I could send you a message and let you know I was still alive. So I was counting on you to save me. I would have been okay with you hitting me, by the way, anything to get that ghost out of me.”

“And why did my kiss work?” Erin wanted to know.

“I think because it made me so happy that the ghost couldn’t deal with it,” Holtzmann began to explain. “Actually, it’s not as easy as that. I think it was because I felt I could do anything and I’m guessing I pushed her out. But as soon as I realised what was going on, that you were kissing me, it went away.”

Erin blushed again. “I honestly didn’t think it would work,” she admitted.

“But what about the ghost?” Patty interjected. “I don’t want her running around my subway station, possessing other people.”

“I don’t think she will.” It was Vanessa who had said that and everyone turned towards her. “Once a ghost is forced out of a body, it is so weak that almost nothing will give it back its original strength.”

“You learned a lot about ghosts, didn’t you?” Holtzmann said with a smirk.

“And I don’t need to learn anything more,” Vanessa added with a shudder.

Holtzmann turned back to Erin. “I think we should talk,” she said.

Erin had completely forgotten about the incident a couple of days ago. Holtzmann, although she had been possessed, evidently hadn’t.

“Now?” Erin asked.

“I would prefer to get this over with, yes,” Holtzmann answered.

Erin looked at the others for guidance, but none of them offered any.

“Okay,” she agreed. “Where do you want to talk?”

“Let’s go back to my flat,” Holtzmann offered.

“What are you doing?” Erin asked the others.

“I have to go home,” Abby said quickly. “Bennie is probably wondering where I am.”

“Will he be all right with you staying away so long?” Erin asked.

“I told him you had an emergency,” Abby answered with a shrug. “He was very understanding.”

“Thank you,” Erin said slowly. “I would really love to meet you for coffee one of these days.”

“Sure,” Abby agreed with a shrug.

“And Patty.” Erin turned to Patty. “Thank you so much for helping us. Is there anything we can do for you?”

“Just keep the ghosts out of my subway station.”


	20. December 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once they reached Holtzmann’s lab, Holtzmann offered her something to drink, and then leaned against her window. Erin said down on a chair at the opposite end of the room, taking tiny sips from her glass of whiskey.

“What about you, Vanessa?” Erin asked finally.

“I really have to reopen the bar,” Vanessa answered with a laugh. “Fighting ghosts is fun and all, but I also need to earn money.”

After saying goodbye to everyone, Holtzmann and Erin slowly made their way to Holtzmann’s lab. Erin was more nervous than she had been at any time during their encounter with Claudia. After everything that had happened, she wasn’t angry with Holtzmann anymore and she just hoped Holtzmann felt the same.

Once they reached Holtzmann’s lab, Holtzmann offered her something to drink, and then leaned against her window. Erin said down on a chair at the opposite end of the room, taking tiny sips from her glass of whiskey.

“I think I owe you an explanation,” Holtzmann started.

All Erin could do was nod.

“I can’t make any excuses for my behaviour though, I can only tell you the truth,” Holtzmann continued. “The reason why I kissed Vanessa was that I thought you weren’t interested in dating me. I was upset and hurt, but I would never have told you how I felt because I didn’t want to put pressure on you. In the end, I decided to distract myself by rekindling my relationship with Vanessa.”

Erin had suspected as much and swallowed. “Why did you send me the letter where you asked me to dinner though?” she wanted to know.

“I wanted to make sure our friendship wasn’t lost,” Holtzmann answered. “It was fun hunting ghosts with you and I hoped you still wanted to do that with me.”

“And why didn’t you ask me if I was interested in dating you?”

Here, Holtzmann blushed. “I’m … I’m not good at …,” she stammered.

“You’re only good at being suave, but not at talking about your feelings?” Erin tried to help her.

“Exactly,” Holtzmann admitted without looking at Erin.

“Let’s talk about them now,” Erin decided. “What are your feelings towards me?”

Holtzmann looked uncertain. “I’m not good at this.”

“Try,” Erin said softly.

“I like you a lot,” Holtzmann started slowly. “Ever since you rescued me from freezing to death, I’ve had a slight crush on you. It grew stronger the more time I spent with you. That’s why I asked you out on a date, but I guess I was too demanding.”

“It wasn’t that,” Erin contradicted her. “I was overwhelmed and didn’t know how to react.”

“I know I should have given you more time,” Holtzmann nodded.

“Then why didn’t you?” Erin wanted to know. “Why did you make out with Vanessa even though you had invited me to dinner?”

Holtzmann didn’t answer her.

“While Vanessa and I were working on saving you, Vanessa told me that you usually don’t go out with inexperienced women. Is that true?”

Holtzmann bit her lip. “It’s true.”

“She said I must be special because you knew about my history but still wanted to go out with me.”

“You _are_ special,” Holtzmann stressed. “I’ve never fallen for a woman as quickly as I fell for you.”

“You fell for me?” Erin asked, disbelief in her voice.

“Of course I did,” Holtzmann answered as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re funny, you’re incredibly intelligent, and you’re … well, you’re hot.”

“You think I’m _hot_?” Erin echoed.

Holtzmann giggled. “I checked out your butt more than once.”

“You did?” Erin’s hand immediately shot to her butt.

Holtzmann turned serious again. “Now that I’ve been so honest with you, it’s only fair that you are honest with me as well.”

Now it was Erin’s turn to blush and look away. “This is all very new to me,” she started. “Everything. Starting with the feelings I have for you. Not because you’re a woman, but also because I’ve never felt about anyone like I feel about you. I’m just not sure where this is going.”

“You’ve never felt about anyone like you feel about me?”

Erin shook her head. “I was immediately jealous of Vanessa,” she admitted, “even before you kissed her. That’s new for me.”

Holtzmann put down her drink and slowly began walking towards Erin. “There’s no reason to be jealous of her,” she began.

“Well, there is,” Erin pointed out. “You kissed her, didn’t you?”

“It was a mistake,” Holtzmann admitted. “I should have trusted you more.” She was now standing right in front of Erin.

Erin looked up at her. “Technically, we weren’t dating yet when you kissed her,” she said slowly.

“Yet? Are you implying we’re dating now?” Holtzmann leaned down towards her, looking at her questioningly.

“It depends,” Erin answered, short of breath.

“On what?”

Erin pushed herself up, letting go of her glass of whiskey, which burst on Holtzmann’s floor. They both didn’t care. Holtzmann pulled Erin into an embrace and Erin put one hand on Holtzmann’s neck, steading herself. They both leaned forward at the same time, their lips meeting slowly. Erin had to admit their second kiss was even better than their first, mostly because Holtzmann wasn’t stiff at the beginning. Instead, she pushed forward, sighing into Erin’s mouth, biting Erin’s lip. Erin was eager to reciprocate, soon breaking off their kiss, but only to bite down Holtzmann’s jaw and neck. Holtzmann’s sighs turned into moans as Erin tangled her fingers in Holtzmann’s hair and held her in place.

“That’s what you call taking things slowly?” Holtzmann asked, trying to catch her breath.

“That’s what I call claiming you,” Erin answered.

Holtzmann shuddered. “I didn’t think you would be so possessive.”

“I just know which girls are worth keeping,” Erin murmured.

Then she gasped when Holtzmann put her hand on Erin’s hip and pulled her close. “You’re very good at flirting. You should use that skill more often.”

Erin bit Holtzmann’s neck in response. “There’s a couple of things I’m _very_ good at.”

“You’re cocky for someone who hasn’t done this before,” Holtzmann said between moans.

“I think your response is all the proof I need.”

Holtzmann whispered. “I know you said you wanted to take things slowly, but do you maybe want to continue this somewhere more comfortable where we can lie down?”


	21. December 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long."

Erin nodded slowly. “Yes, I’d like that very much,” she whispered, “but do you have a bed in here?”

“Not really, no,” Holtzmann admitted, “at least not one worthy of such an occasion.”

“Shall we go to my place then?” Erin suggested.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long.”

Erin had to smile. “It’s basically around the corner. If we take a cab, we’ll be there in ten minutes. And you could use my bathtub and stay the night.”

Holtzmann was convinced. They quickly got dressed, interrupted by urgent kisses, before stumbling down the stairs and calling a cab. Never had ten minutes been such a long time to Erin. They both sat in the back of the cab; Holtzmann had her hand on Erin’s leg and she was slowly moving it up as the drive progressed. Erin wanted to be touched by her but knew they had to wait until they were in her flat. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Holtzmann smirk – she knew exactly what she was doing.

Erin had never had sex before. She had always dreaded it and had expected to be very nervous, trying to find excuses not to do it. Now she couldn’t wait to get upstairs, to undress Holtzmann and be undressed by her in return. She trusted Holtzmann and knew she could tell her when something made her uncomfortable. Holtzmann would do exactly what Erin asked her to do.

Erin was so excited that she was unable to unlock her door, so in the end Holtzmann had to do it for her. Holtzmann grinned at Erin’s fruitless attempts before taking the key from her and unlocking the door.

“Can I take a bath first?” Holtzmann asked once they were inside.

“You’re joking, right?” Erin asked. “I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

Holtzmann smirked again. “I’d hoped you’d say that,” she said.

“Can I show you the bedroom then?” Erin asked and winked.

She took Holtzmann’s hand and led her towards her bed. Holtzmann followed her eagerly. Erin turned them around and gave Holtzmann a tiny shove so she sat down on the bed. Then she straddled her, kissed her, held her hands down on the bed.

“Again, not exactly taking things slowly,” Holtzmann murmured between kisses.

“Fuck slowly,” Erin said, surprising herself.

Holtzmann only moaned and pulled her down so Erin was lying on top of her. Their kisses grew more heated, their moans louder. Erin started to unbutton the blouse she was wearing, but Holtzmann pushed away her hands.

“I want to do that,” she whispered, picking up where Erin had left the task unfinished.

Erin shivered when the cold air of the room brushed against her skin. She hadn’t been home in days and the heating had been off the whole time.

“You’re cold,” Holtzmann observed when goose bumps began spreading across Erin’s torso.

“It’s not just the cold,” Erin answered.

Erin climbed off Holtzmann and watched as Holtzmann took off the pullover and the shirt she was wearing. She wasn’t wearing a bra and Erin could see that her nipples were already hard.

“You’re cold,” she said.

“It’s not just the cold,” Holtzmann repeated, winking at her. “But I think you should take off your bra as well, so we’re equal.”

Erin obliged with a smile, not breaking eye contact with Holtzmann. Then she leaned forward, cupped one of Holtzmann’s breasts, and slowly let her tongue wander across it. Holtzmann sighed deeply, closing her eyes, and let Erin explore her body. Erin kissed down Holtzmann’s stomach and back up again to her neck, echoing Holtzmann’s moans, feeling herself getting wet.

“I know this is a cliché question to ask, but are you sure you’ve never done this before?” Holtzmann asked, panting.

“I only thought about doing it,” Erin answered between soft kisses. “A lot, during the last couple of weeks.”

“And were there other things you were thinking about?”

“Do you want me to show you?”

Holtzmann nodded, so Erin moved further down her body and began to unbutton her trousers. Once they were on the floor next to their shirts and Holtzmann wasn’t wearing anything but her pants, Erin had to pause and stare at her.

“Are you all right?” Holtzmann asked her.

“I just want to take everything in,” Erin replied, feeling silly.

“Take as much time as you need.” Holtzmann leaned back, so Erin could see every detail of her. “I know your first time can be overwhelming.”

“You’re pretty,” Erin said breathlessly. “I wanted to tell you the first time you came here and I ran you a bath.”

“Come here,” Holtzmann said.

Erin laid down on top of her again, their legs intertwining. Holtzmann began to move her hips while kissing Erin, but Erin was still wearing a skirt and tights and the movement Holtzmann made tickled her.

“I think I need to take this off,” Erin said, stopping Holtzmann’s hips.

She quickly jumped out of bed and undressed, while Holtzmann watched her, blushing slightly. Erin hesitated briefly, then also took off her pants, so she was completely naked. Then she climbed into bed once more, while Holtzmann stared.

“Can I try something?” she asked and Holtzmann nodded.

Erin began kissing up Holtzmann’s thighs while softly stroking her stomach, sometimes teasing her nipples. Holtzmann was writhing beneath her, but Erin continued at a slow pace.

“Please, Erin,” Holtzmann moaned finally.

Erin smirked between Holtzmann’s thighs. “Yes?”

“I can’t take any more of this.”

Erin sat up. “Do you want to touch me?”

“Yes, please,” Holtzmann begged.

Erin moved up the bed so she was lying next to Holtzmann. Holtzmann let her hand glide across Erin’s hip and thighs, squeezing her butt.

“Just tell me if I hurt you,” she whispered.

“I’m sure you won’t,” Erin answered.

Erin rolled onto her back while Holtzmann ran her fingers across Erin’s lower stomach, getting closer to where Erin wanted her to go with every stroke. Then Holtzmann pushed Erin’s thighs apart determinately, letting her hand glide down to feel Erin’s wetness.


	22. December 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holtzmann stopped moving her hand immediately.

Erin moaned loudly and bit her lip immediately because she had no idea how thin the walls of her flat were. Holtzmann, apparently happy with Erin’s reaction, began moving two fingers in a circle motion on Erin’s clit. Erin shut her eyes and leaned back, enjoying Holtzmann’s touch. It felt completely different from the times she had touched herself and it didn’t come close to what she imagined Holtzmann’s touch would feel like.

It was obvious that Holtzmann had a lot of experience with sex. She knew exactly how to make Erin moan with pleasure and Erin enjoyed it a lot. However, she also felt like Holtzmann was holding back; apparently, she did not have much experience with virgins. Erin realised Holtzmann needed as much guidance from her as she needed from Holtzmann.

“Holtzmann,” she whispered, her eyes still closed.

Holtzmann stopped moving her hand immediately.

“Is something –,” she started but Erin interrupted her.

“Don’t stop.” It came out as a frustrated groan and Holtzmann continued immediately. “Do you think you could maybe try and use your finger?” Erin continued.

“Use my finger?” Holtzmann repeated. “Oh, you mean if I could finger you?”

Erin opened her eyes and nodded.

“I’ll try, but you have to tell me if I hurt you.”

“Yes, yes,” Erin agreed.

Slowly, Holtzmann moved down her hand, one finger extended. Carefully, she pushed, but she didn’t need much force. Her finger glided into Erin smoothly and Erin clenched around it immediately.

“Fuck,” Erin moaned.

“Are you okay?” Holtzmann wanted to assure herself immediately.

“It feels amazing,” Erin told her.

Carefully, Holtzmann began to move her finger in and out of Erin. Erin relaxed under her touch, sighing happily. This was a new sensation for her. She had not yet dared to finger herself, but, again, Holtzmann proved just how skilful she was. Holtzmann eagerly continued, happy she could make Erin feel good.

After some time, Erin let her left hand wander to where Holtzmann was lying, softly touching her upper thigh and then the fabric of her pants. Holtzmann spread her legs a bit and then Erin was touching Holtzmann through her underwear. In an attempt to stifle a moan, Holtzmann bit into Erin’s neck, which sent shivers through Erin’s body, almost making her burst with longing.

Encouraged by this discovery, Erin demanded, “Bite me again,” while putting more pressure on Holtzmann’s clit which she could feel through her pants.

Holtzmann happily obliged, pushing herself up so she was towering over Erin, still moving her finger. At first, she bit Erin’s neck softly, then with more force, moving down to her breasts and nipples, and up again, covering Erin in tiny bruises. Then she picked a spot close to Erin’s left ear, biting down hard. At the same time, she added a second finger, and Erin shuddered and almost came.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” Holtzmann whispered in her ear.

“How do you know?” Erin asked.

“I can feel it,” Holtzmann replied. “You’ll see when you finger me.”

Erin raised her free hand and began to touch herself while Holtzmann continued to finger her. Holtzmann’s eyes opened wide and she stared at Erin’s hand moving between her legs.

“I sometimes asked myself what that would look like,” she admitted.

Erin blushed. “You thought about me touching myself?”

“Yes,” Holtzmann answered. “I had very specific fantasies actually.”

“Please tell me.”

Holtzmann, again, leaned closer to Erin so she could whisper in her ear. “I thought about you lying in bed next to me, thinking I was asleep. You would only be wearing a shirt and pants, which you would carefully take off while you would push the shirt up to expose your breasts.”

“That’s very specific,” Erin panted, trying to hide how turned on she was by Holtzmann’s story.

Holtzmann continued, “Then you would always begin to touch yourself, quietly at first so you wouldn’t wake me. But since I would be awake anyway, I would already be watching you secretly. After some time, you would be getting hot, so you would push back your blanket and I could watch you touch yourself while playing with your nipples.”

“You would just … watch me?” Erin asked.

“At first yes, then I would secretly begin to touch myself,” Holtzmann answered. “Of course, sooner or later, you would notice, but you wouldn’t stop. Instead, you would continue to touch yourself while making eye contact with me and I would watch you come while coming myself.”

Erin moaned. “We should try that sometime.”

“Yes, please,” Holtzmann nodded. “But first, I want you to come.”

Erin began to roll her hips on Holtzmann’s fingers, so Holtzmann almost didn’t have to move her hand herself, while continuing to touch herself. When she finally came, she could feel herself clench around Holtzmann’s fingers, while Holtzmann continued to fuck her through her orgasm. When Erin had relaxed completely, Holtzmann gingerly removed her fingers and began to lick them.

“What are you doing?” Erin asked, sounding mildly shocked.

“I didn’t get a chance to taste you yet,” Holtzmann answered. “Next time I want to make you come with my tongue.”

“That was amazing,” Erin told her. “Probably the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

“Probably?”

“Definitely the best orgasm another person gave me,” Erin answered with a wink.

Erin still had her hand between Holtzmann’s legs and both of them realised this at the same time.

“Do you want me to …?” Erin asked.

“Only if _you_ want to,” Holtzmann answered.

“There’s nothing I want more,” Erin told her.

Carefully, she undressed Holtzmann, then straddled her so their legs were intertwining. Erin began moving her hips so her thigh brushed against Holtzmann’s clit. She braced herself against the wall behind the bed, while Holtzmann gripped Erin’s hips to pull her even closer. They both panted and moaned, Holtzmann with long-needed relief, Erin from feeling turned on from watching Holtzmann like that beneath her. Holtzmann, who pushed her hips up to meet Erin’s leg, was beginning to get desperate, but Erin didn’t want her to come yet, so she suddenly, and without warning, rolled off Holtzmann.


	23. December 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Close your eyes,” Erin whispered. “Try to relax.”

Now it was Holtzmann’s turn to complain. “What are you doing?” she whined.

“Shh, you’ll see,” Erin told her, kneeling next to her.

Holtzmann watched her every move, impatience in her eyes.

“Close your eyes,” Erin whispered. “Try to relax.”

With a sigh, Holtzmann obliged. Erin softly stroked Holtzmann’s thighs, keeping a close watch on her face. After a couple of minutes, Holtzmann relaxed more and more and Erin moved closer to where Holtzmann wanted to be touched by her. Despite the amazing orgasm Holtzmann had given her, Erin didn’t feel nervous at all. They weren’t competing. And she was sure Holtzmann wouldn’t hesitate to tell her what felt good.

When Erin finally touched Holtzmann, she immediately noticed how wet Holtzmann was. A small gasp escaped her lips when she dipped one finger into the wetness, then, moving up, slowly circled Holtzmann’s clit.

“You’re very wet,” Erin observed.

“Shut up,” Holtzmann wanted to reprimand her, but it came out as a low moan.

Since Holtzmann wasn’t complaining, Erin continued to touch her very softly and slowly, still watching her face. Holtzmann, finally, was fully relaxed, her eyes were shut tightly, and she had her hands lying next to her body; they sometimes twitched when Erin changed the pressure she was applying to Holtzmann’s clit.

“Do you want to try and finger me?” Holtzmann asked.

Erin nodded, even though she had hoped to make Holtzmann beg again, not just ask for what she wanted.

Holtzmann could feel that Erin was unsure, so she took Erin’s wrist and told her to extend one of her fingers. Erin did so, and Holtzmann slowly led her down to where Erin had touched her initially. She inserted Erin’s finger into herself, and all Erin could do was gape at where her finger was disappearing.

“How does it feel?” Holtzmann asked.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” Erin answered.

“Not in this case, no.”

“It feels … different than I had expected,” Erin admitted. “Tighter, somehow. I can’t imagine how you fit two fingers inside of me.”

Holtzmann giggled. “There’s a lot more than two fingers I can fit down there.”

Erin blushed. “I know, it’s just ...”

“Have you never fingered yourself?” Holtzmann wanted to know.

Erin shook her head.

“You should have told me,” Holtzmann said.

“Stop talking about me and focus on yourself,” Erin reminded her, beginning to move her finger.

Soon, she found out that it was easy to use two, even three fingers to satisfy Holtzmann, especially when Holtzmann began to moan and move her hips on Erin’s fingers. When Erin held down her hips with one hand and began to move her other in and out of Holtzmann fast, Holtzmann moaned so loudly that Erin was sure her neighbours would hear. But she didn’t care if they complained because having sex with Holtzmann was the hottest thing Erin had ever done and she was ready to face the consequences.

Holtzmann came without touching herself and without Erin doing anything else but fingering her. To Erin, Holtzmann’s orgasm came as a surprise. Suddenly, Holtzmann was clenching around her fingers, raising her hips despite Erin’s grip, and moaning even louder than before. Erin stilled her hand and waited for Holtzmann to pull it out herself, which she did after a couple of moments.

“How was it?” Erin asked, cuddling up next to Holtzmann.

Holtzmann didn’t say anything, but pulled Erin close to her and happily hummed into her neck.

“I’m guessing that’s a good sign,” Erin whispered, kissing Holtzmann’s forehead. “How did it feel _deflowering_ a woman?”

“This wasn’t my first time with a virgin, you know,” Holtzmann answered. “But I still don’t believe that you are … well, were one. You were way too good.”

“I swear I’ve never touched a woman before you,” Erin said, putting one hand on her heart.

Holtzmann took that hand and kissed it softly. “I’m eager to see what you can do once you’ve had a bit of practice.”

They fell asleep, pressed closely together under a warm blanket, skin on skin, heartbeat accompanying heartbeat.

*

Erin woke up before Holtzmann did. The left side of her body was numb because Holtzmann had lain on it all night long, and was still lying there, but she couldn’t bring herself to push Holtzmann away. Instead, she pulled her closer and tried to go back to sleep, but then she could feel Holtzmann stir and the next moment she was pinning Erin to the bed, tickling her.

“Stop it,” Erin demanded between laughs, trying to push Holtzmann off her. “Is that what I get for letting you sleep in my bed?”

Holtzmann stopped. “That reminds me … didn’t you promise me a bath?”

“Not after this vicious attack just now.”

Holtzmann leaned down. “What can I do so you’ll run me a bath?”

“You can make breakfast for me.”

“But you know I can’t cook,” Holtzmann reminded her.

“Then it’s time you learned,” Erin said with a shrug. “I’ll run you a bath, you can make coffee.”

Erin climbed out of bed, acted as if the cold wasn’t bothering her, and made her way to the bathroom, ignoring Holtzmann whistling after her.

The bathroom was warm and it grew even warmer the more water Erin let flow into the tub. Absent-mindedly, she let her hand glide through the water, making it swirl. It was still hard for her to imagine that last night really had happened. The most unbelievable thing was that she felt completely comfortable and at ease with Holtzmann. She didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t, and Holtzmann even had taken her fear of sex away. All of a sudden, her worries from a couple of weeks ago about Holtzmann being a woman and what this meant for her future, didn’t bother her anymore. If this was what she got in return, she could live with the rest of the world disapproving of her relationship.

“Are you planning on joining me?” Holtzmann asked, two mugs of steamy coffee in her hand.


	24. December 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The water was warm and Erin let herself sink into it with a happy sigh. Holtzmann followed her, putting down the coffee on the bathroom floor next to them. Erin picked up her mug and took a sip, her legs drawn to her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. I hope you all enjoyed the fanfic, I had lots of fun writing it. Merry Christmas!

Erin pretended to be thinking about Holtzmann’s question. “I’m not sure it’s big enough so that we both can fit in it,” she answered.

Holtzmann giggled. “Don’t be silly.”

Erin sighed. “Well, since I’m undressed already …”

The water was warm and Erin let herself sink into it with a happy sigh. Holtzmann followed her, putting down the coffee on the bathroom floor next to them. Erin picked up her mug and took a sip, her legs drawn to her body.

“Are we starting like that again?” Holtzmann asked, nodding at Erin’s seating position.

“How do you mean?”

“We just had sex, you don’t have to hide anything from me.”

Carefully, Erin extended her legs.

“See? Now even your knees are warm.”

Holtzmann was alreay lounging in the bathtub, her legs spread widely. Erin was careful to keep her eyes fixed on Holtzmann’s face.

“Have you ever had sex in a bathtub?” she asked.

“Is that an invitation?” Holtzmann raised one of her eyebrows.

“I’m just asking because you like taking baths so much.”

“I don’t think about sex _all_ the time,” Holtzmann told her. “Maybe I just like taking baths.”

“I like taking baths as well,” Erin said. “But I think I would enjoy them even more if I had a hot woman beside me I could kiss.”

With a smile, Holtzmann moved around so she was lying next to Erin. They slowly began kissing and Erin realised they hadn’t kissed yet since last night.

“Holtzmann?” she said slowly between kissed.

“Hm?” Holtzmann hummed.

“In future, I don’t want to start my day without being kissed by you.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Holtzmann answered, “if you don’t mind sharing a flat with me.”

“Are we already talking about moving in together?” Erin giggled.

“You’re the one who brought it up,” Holtzmann said with a shrug, pinching one of Erin’s nipples.

Erin gasped in surprise.

“I’m guessing you would have to move in with me,” Erin continued once she had recovered. “I don’t think me living in your lab is an option.”

“Then I can finally go to work in the morning, like a normal person,” Holtzmann laughed. “Although living where you work has its merits.”

“Then again, we should probably look for a new flat anyway because this one isn’t big enough for two people.”

“Where will we find such a great bathtub though?” Holtzmann pointed out.

“That’s true,” Erin said slowly.

“And I don’t mind living in a small flat with you, it’s cosy.”

“Isn’t it a bit soon to be talking like this though?” Erin asked. “I mean, we’ve known each other for a couple of weeks and we’ve had sex once.”

“We can have sex a couple of times more before I move in with you,” Holtzmann answered. “That’s not a problem.”

*

Once they had drained the bathtub and dried off, Erin turned the heating back on and they cuddled up in bed together.

“I should go back to work one of these days,” Erin remarked thoughtfully. “They’ll probably wonder if I’m still alive.”

“Listen, Erin, I’ve been thinking. You asked me once if you could work for me and I was wondering if you’re still interested in that. Because if you are, we could go into business together, hunt ghosts and so on. There isn’t any money in it because most people who contact me are so poor that they can’t even pay us a little bit, but we would be working together.”

Erin didn’t even have to think about it. “Of course I want to work with you.” She pulled Holtzmann into a hug.

Holtzmann beamed at her. “Great.”

“But I think I still need a bit of training,” Erin said with a wink.

“I think there isn’t much I can teach you,” Holtzmann contradicted her. “You just got rid of a very nasty ghost.”

“That was an attempt to flirt with you,” Erin admitted. “Let me try that again: Will I have to call you _boss_?” She winked again.

Holtzmann giggled. “If you continue hunting ghosts so successfully, I’ll have to call _you_ boss soon.”

Erin blushed.

*

Erin didn’t go back to work. She called them and told them she wanted to quit. The days leading up to Christmas she spent in bed with Holtzmann, either cuddling or discovering many ways to make her moan her name. At first, Erin thought those were the happiest days of her life, but they kept piling up, and when Christmas came around she was sure it would go on like this. When she described what she was feeling to Holtzmann on Christmas Eve, Holtzmann giggled.

“You’re in love, Erin,” she told her.

“Oh.” Erin blushed. “Now I can definitely say I never felt like that with my boyfriend.”

“I should hope not or I’d be very jealous.”

“Are you -?” Erin began to ask.

“Jealous?”

“No, in love with _me_.”

Holtzmann blushed. “Yes.”

“Oh.” Erin had expected her to make excuses, saying she wasn’t good at talking about her feelings. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure?” Holtzmann repeated.

“I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I –”

Holtzmann pulled Erin close and kissed her passionately. “Proof enough?”

“I don’t want you to proof it, I was just surprised you could admit it so easily.”

“I’m in love with you,” Holtzmann said without hesitation, without stammering.

Erin blushed. Now it was her turn to be unsure of what to say. Somehow, she wasn’t ready yet to name her feelings for Holtzmann out loud, even though she had been sure of them for many weeks. Instead of saying something herself, she kissed Holtzmann back, very softly, trying to convey what she was feeling with her kiss. Holtzmann didn’t press the matter further but was happy to vanish between Erin’s legs.

If someone had told Erin only a month ago that she would be spending Christmas in the arms of a woman, she would have blushed and called them silly. Yet here she was, sprawled out on her bed, Holtzmann between her legs, making her moan with every lick. And she couldn’t imagine a better Christmas.


End file.
